


The Light Within You

by Ftapia



Category: Call Me By Your Name (2017), Call Me By Your Name (2017) RPF, Call Me By Your Name - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Falling In Love, M/M, Sexual Tension, Sharing a Bed, Slow Burn, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-05
Updated: 2019-08-20
Packaged: 2019-11-12 10:11:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 37,866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18008981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ftapia/pseuds/Ftapia
Summary: Timmy is an aspiring actor, but after a really bad audition he is ready to give up acting, so he goes to a bar with the intention of getting wasted, but then he meets Armie, the cute bartender, who makes him promise he won’t quit acting just yet. They hit it off immediately. Timmy gets really drunk and flirtatious with Armie, who is totally mesmerized by the boy, and of course he couldn’t resist his lips.After a couple of years Timmy becomes a famous actor and Armie works in a totally different field. They cannot believe their eyes when they meet again.





	1. Chapter 1

Timmy was a very young and attractive boy. People said in order to have a successful acting career you need to start pretty young, but actually 21, for an aspiring actor was not young enough. He knew that. He often thought of how by 21 he was already supposed to be this superstar, so he was late for that. One day he was wondering if he was late for other things too.  Was it late for going back to college? Was it late to look for a job that didn’t involve acting? Was he terribly late to turn the direction of his life upside down? Would his parents be so terribly upset if he gave up acting? Would they feel relief? He knew from the beginning an actor is supposed to develop this thick skin in order to take all the negative criticism, he knew he was supposed to fail many times before he finally succeed at it, but that day in particular he was feeling so down, like if all his effort was useless.

 

He gave this terrible audition in the morning, it made him question his choices in life. _How did I end up here?_ He was wondering. His parents were never happy with his decision of becoming an actor, but they supported him the same. They were so supportive actually. He knew he couldn't complain about it.

 

At that point Timmy just felt like a failure. He was thinking he should have gone to college like all his cousins. It would have been the safest decision. Life was getting hard on him. He hadn’t felt that depressed in a long time. So that night he just wanted to forget about everything for a while. _S_ _o what the fuck!_ He thought. _I’m gonna get so wasted._

 

In his way home he saw a bar, it seemed nice enough for his purpose, so he decided to get in. When he was inside the place he was already having second thoughts, the place was actually too nice for his purpose. He was about to leave, but then he made eye contact with this handsome bartender, and he changed his mind. The bartender was a blonde, tall guy, who seemed friendly  enough, so he decided to go on with the original plan.

 

—What can I get you?— The bartender asked.

—Whisky please, make it a double.

—Could I see some ID?— Timmy  smiled, he was used to being asked his ID when ordering drinks.

—Alright, here you go— Timmy drank it all right away. The bartender looked at him.

—Easy on that kid, isn’t it too early for that kind of drinking? and if you are drinking like that  shouldn’t you at least be surrounded by a bunch of friends cheering you up?

—I just had a bad day, so just please fill my glass whenever is empty— Armie filled the glass as he stared at Timmy curiously.

—So what happened to you?

—Nothing much, I just discovered that I have made some bad choices in life.

—Is it about a girl?— Armie’s question made Timmy smiled.

—Not a girl,...even if this was about me being heartbroken, it wouldn’t be about a girl— Timmy smiled. The bartender look down a little awkwardly. Did he disapprove of his preference? Timmy regretted immediately having shared that much of himself without being asked.

—Sorry— Timmy said.

—Why do you apologize for? for liking boys?— The bartender asked.

—I just think I made you uncomfortable somehow, and I didn’t mean to, so, sorry— The bartender looked at him and smile, the boy  hadn’t made him uncomfortable a all, he just felt a little bit shaken by his confession, for no other reason that he wished he could share things like those as openly as the boy did.

—You didn’t make me uncomfortable, don’t apologize. So you like guys then— He smiled at him as he noticed the boy was actually pretty handsome, he had very unique features.

Timmy took another sip of his drink.

—So what is all this drinking about then?— The bartender asked

—Not much, just about me being a failure.

—What? if I remember correctly, according to your ID you just turned 21. So, I don’t think at 21 you have the correct appreciation of what being a failure means.

—For a couple of years I’ve been auditioning for acting jobs with absolutely cero luck. Doesn’t that sounds like a failure to you?

—Well I don’t know much about it but I do know that for an actor to get a role he probably was rejected for so many others before.

—By now I’ve been rejected from every single acting job. Actually I’m considering just giving up on it.

—What? no way! that is a terrible idea!

—How can you say that? You haven’t even seen me acting or anything.

—Well yeah, it’s true, but you are so… you look like a famous actor already— Armie wanted to say good looking, but he stopped himself. He  looked down with embarrassment.

—God, you just blushed!— Timmy said fascinated by the bartender sweet reaction— Why did you?

—I did not— Armie laughed. It was not like him to be shy, but apparently that boy had a weird effect on him.

—Listen— Armie said trying to regain composure— I’ll buy you a drink, but you have to promise me, that once you are a famous actor, you will come back and give me an autograph or something.

Armie couldn't deny there was something going on within himself as he spoke to that boy. But what was it? He couldn’y quite tell.  He smiled a little too friendly. He liked the boy, but not just that, there was more, so much more.

Timmy smiled gladly. Was that bartender flirting with him? _No, of course not_ , he thought. _He is just being friendly._ But Timmy wished he would be flirting.

—Are you trying to get me drunk mister?— Timmy asked all of a sudden.

—No, never. It’s just one drink I’m offering— Armie got a very serious grimace on his face.

—I’ll take it then.

— But then you also have to promise me not to quit, not today, not just yet, try a little bit more, your luck might start to change.— The bartender smiled at Timmy.

Timmy couldn’t quite tell, but there was something about the bartender that intrigued him deeply. Was it his beautiful smile? or those incredible blue eyes?  Timmy felt a warm sensation in his chest. _He is so cute, but also so straight._ He thought.

—What Is your name?— Timmy asked.

—I’m Armie—he offered his hand to him.

—Nice to meet you. I'm Timmy— They both smiled as they shook hands. Armie was wondering if maybe he was acting too friendly with the boy. _Maybe I shouldn't do that._ He was thinking.

 

Armie was bisexual, he had known it for a while but he had never discussed it openly with anybody. He was attracted to both, women and men, but he knew the best thing he could do about it  was to hide it. He came from a very traditional family, to admit he liked other men would had been a major conflict. So he settled for having just casual sex with men, he had never expressed his attraction towards another man in any other form, and of course he had never considered a relationship, perhaps because he had never fallen in love with a man, maybe because he had never  met a man who was fascinating enough. Maybe all that could change one day, he was thinking, but then he immediately changed his mind. What a crazy idea that was, after all he was a married man, he had actually decided time ago that, that part of himself would die unexplored.

 

Timmy kept on drinking from his glass, he was actually having a good time. There were other customers so Armie left Timmy alone for a couple of minutes as he checked on them, but their eyes met a couple of times, and they both smiled when it happened. Timmy liked Armie, he liked him way too much, it was a little scary how much he liked him.

 

Timmy felt comfortable talking to Armie, he enjoyed just being with him. Was it because he was cute? Was there more? So many questions kept coming to his mind. After some time Armie came back to what seemed to be his favorite spot in that bar, right there, next to Timmy.

—Are you enjoying yourself?— Armie asked

—Very much actually— Timmy smiled again, was he smiling too much? He hated being so self aware, he was usually like that when he liked someone. So that was it then, he was undeniably attracted to Armie, he was fascinated by him. He emptied his glass.

—Another one?—Armie asked, Timmy nodded.

—Remember you promised to keep trying your auditions.

—I remember, alright.

—But you are still going to get wasted?

—I did have a bad day, can I drink on that?— Armie took a deep breathe. That boy was getting into his skin so fast. Timmy looked good on that leather jacket and tight jeans, Armie was well aware of that.

—You can do as you wish, you are 21 after all.

—Then can I have another one?— Armie served the drink and as he did it he brushed the skin of his hand with Timmy's in a very casual and almost unintentional way.  Timmy felt the electricity of the touch went down his spine. Armie was flirting with him, he was definitely doing it.

—When's your next audition?— Armie asked.

—Well there is one tomorrow.

—What? Why are you still here then?

Timmy stared at his drink.

—I’m not going to get that role.

—Well if you don't leave I'm sure you won't.

—So you want me to leave? That's it?— Armie smiled,

—listen kid, let’s do this, go home and get some sleep, tomorrow you go to your audition. And when it's all over you come see me and I'll buy you another drink, what do you say?—Timmy smiled at him.

—Ok, sounds good— He replied.

—Promise you’ll be back?

—Are you crazy? I would never turn down a  free drink— Timmy blinked at him. Armie smiled. There was something in Timmy's eyes that he found fascinating. The boy was very beautiful. He could look at him all night long.

So Timmy paid his bill and went home, as he was falling asleep that night he couldn’t stop thinking about the bartender, he was so handsome. He definitely liked him a lot more than he had  expected. _Armie_ , he kept repeating his name in his head, _Armie, Armie, Armie._


	2. Chapter 2

Armie was working his usual shift at the bar, it was a slow day, few people were coming in, so he was mostly cleaning and organizing things around. It was almost 6 o’clock. He tried so hard not to think about Timmy, but he came to his mind a couple of times.

 

Armie really wanted to see Timmy that night, but at 8 o'clock, he thought that maybe Timmy was simply not going to show up, in a way he wanted him no to show up, but he couldn't tell why, he wasn’t quite sure of the reason, perhaps he was afraid.

 

Armie had flirted with the boy, it was fun and all but, he was sure if the boy came back he wouldn’t know what to do anymore. Timmy was so damn cute. Would he actually be able to keep on with all that flirting?  _Jesus._  His palms were sweating just from the thought of it. He felt some sort of anxiety taking over him. It was better if he didn’t show up. He kept repeating to himself, although he was also feeling  deep disappointment as the time passed and the boy didn’t cross that door. _What the hell is going on?_  Armie was having such contradictory feelings, that he just couldn't understand them. Perhaps  it was for the best if he didn't show up. Of course he had enjoyed Timmy’s company the night before but to be honest, that was probably all that would happen, he would have his company, after all Armie was a married man, he was having difficulties in his marriage, sure, but he was certain he would do everything he could to mend things with his wife. So there was nothing for him to expect. If Timmy came, they would probably talk some more, nothing else. So why was he getting so anxious about it?

 

He would have to settle for Timmy’s company and conversation, but would that be enough for him? Could he settle for that once that he had acknowledge the fact that he was so irresistibly attracted to the boy? Just as he was thinking about all those things he saw him, standing at the door, looking around, before deciding to walk in. As their eyes met, they both smiled.

—Hey, you did come —Armie said, he couldn’t hide he was feeling good about Timmy’s presence at the bar.

—So you doubted I was coming?

—Yeah, I was afraid you might find something better to do.

—you were afraid? So… you wanted me to come?

—I wouldn’t have offer you a drink if I didn’t— _Shit._ Armie was sure he had just blushed again. He hated when that happened. It was like he wasn’t in control anymore. His fucking body was giving him away. He tried a casual smile, for a changed. _Fuck._ Timmy looked at him amused.

—Well I’m here, where is my drink?—Armie put the glass in front of him. He looked at him as he drank. _God he is so beautiful. Shit why did I stare at him like that? well, maybe because he’s so fucking gorgeous. I’m sure he noticed by know that I'm drooling._

—So, how was your audition?— Armie asked trying so hard not to give more of himself away.

—Not terrible, actually. I have to go back the day after tomorrow.

—That’s great, you see!

—Well let’s see how that goes, I don’t want to get my expectations too high

—Maybe that’s the problem, you do need to set higher expectations.

They kept talking, conversation flowed in the most natural way, as if they were friends from childhood, as if they knew each other so well. Every little smile on their faces brought them a little closer.

—Tell me more about you Armie. What is your dream?

—Oh no, that’s not a nice topic, let’s just not go there.

—Armie, let’s talk about you for a change? We talked about my acting dream. What about you? What do you want?

 _Right now, just you,_ Armie wanted to say as he looked at those beautiful eyes. _Not a good answer though_ , he thought.

—Wow, that’s a huge question, I think I might have to think about it.

—Oh come on! I bet you already know the answer, just maybe you don’t want to tell me.

Armie looked at him. Timmy was staring right at him. Armie felt he couldn't hide from his stare.

—I don’t believe you kid, that thing you do.

—What do you mean? What thing?— Armie was already regretting what he was about to say. But he knew he was going to say it anyway.

—That look, in your eyes… You know I like you, you do.

 _Fuck. Shit!_ Timmy looked at him in awe. Armie saw some customers approaching, he felt relief because he had an excuse to walk away, and hide his blushing face.

Timmy kept on drinking, he had a very warm feeling inside him.  He looked at Armie from the distance, but Armie was avoiding his eyes.

 _Why did I have to say that? Now things are going to be awkward. Shit, maybe I should just let him finish his drink alone._ Armie looked of the corner of his eye that Timmy was getting up from his seat. Armie felt a sudden ache. _Fuck he is leaving, no wait._

—Leaving already?

Armie tried so hard to play it casual, as if he wasn’t feeling that strong and unexplainable attraction towards the boy.

—Well yeah, I’ve been thinking. You said you like me, but I think I make you very uncomfortable.

—There were some customers… and I had to go... I’m sorry.

—Do you…? I mean… are you into guys?

Armie felt some deep heat burning within him. Did he like men? He surely liked Timmy.

—Sorry… I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable… again— Timmy said as he paid his bill. When he was placing the cash on the table, without even knowing what he was doing Armie put his hand on Timmy’s. _Please don’t go, not just yet._

—Wait, don’t leave I mean, it’s early.

Timmy was a little confused.

—And why should I stay Armie? I’m not sure you are even enjoying my company.

—listen I… I do like you… so fucking much actually…  just I'm sorry, I'm married.

—Oh.. Ok. I’m sorry I didn’t know… I was just assuming things— Timmy was visibly embarrassed.

—No, please… you didn’t do anything wrong… It was just me… I shouldn’t have acted like that… you know I was flirting and I shouldn’t have.

—So you were flirting right? I thought you were—Timmy smiled— I’m sorry.

—No, nothing to be sorry about— Armie said.

—Ok then, well I’m just going to… go now.

—Ok, yeah… sure… I mean, good luck with your audition.

—Thanks… and good luck with your… marriage. I’m sorry I don’t know what to say.

—No it’s fine… thanks.

it was so awkward it hurt. Timmy left with the most dreadful feeling. He was married. Armie was married.


	3. Chapter 3

The following day Armie was at the bar as usual. He was feeling kind of upset for how things had gone with Timmy, he could think of a thousand different ways he could have managed things, but then it all  had ended in an awkward conversation, that didn’t lead anywhere.

 

Armie had flirted with the boy, but he admitted to himself that he didn’t really know what he was doing. Maybe they could had been friends at least, but then after that awkward conversation, he would be ashamed just to see him again.

After that night Armie had been questioning himself so deeply, why had he  been flirting with the boy, to start with? He was clearly attracted to him but, what was he planning on doing about it? Nothing really, probably he just wanted to know how far he could take it. _Not far_. He thought.

 

Timmy went to his audition very early in the morning, when he arrived there were already a couple of boys there, waiting. They were handsome, and confident, Timmy thought he didn't stand a chance. He said hi to them, and smiled friendly, wondering which of those boys would end up getting the job.  Then he started thinking about Armie again. He wished things would had gone differently between them. Finding out he was married came as a shock to him. Why was he flirting then? Timmy was wondering. Did he want to hook up with him? Have an affair maybe? A one night stand? Armie was so handsome, he couldn’t stop thinking about his smile and his blue eyes.  But then he knew he had to stop it. He was sure he would never see him again.

 

The audition went really well for him, he actually got the job. It was a minor role in  a TV series, but for an aspiring actor as himself that meant a lot, so he was actually very happy. The producers were giving him the details, he just hugged them with gratitude. Timmy was like that, he didn’t hide his emotions, he couldn't do it even when he tried, he was affectionate. His joy spread  among people so easily. He expressed so many things.

 

After the audition he didn’t feel like going home, he had already called his parents, they got so happy with the news. He thought about getting one drink, just one drink. What was the harm on that? He even thought maybe he could see that cute bartender again, just one more time,  he could tell him the news. He would be happy for him. Just the thought of it made him shiver.

 

Armie was shocked when he saw him walking into the bar.  He felt he couldn’t move his feet, as if they were glued to the floor. Timmy smiled when he saw him, he couldn’t deny he was happy to see him.  However he did notice Armie seemed stressed with his presence. Maybe it was not the best idea to go there after all, but he was already there anyway. _Just one drink._

 

—Hi— Timmy said

—Hey— Armie tried his best to play it cool.

—I’m sorry I hope it’s not too weird for you that I’m here.

—No, of course not— He lied —You are very welcome here, what are you having? whisky?

—No… just a beer.

—So today you are not getting wasted?

—No, not today actually.

Timmy started drinking his beer, it was cold, it was good.

—I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable, not yesterday, and not today.

—You are not, it’s fine. So how did your audition go?

Timmy smiled, he couldn’t hide how happy he was.

—It went great!

—What? really? How great?

—I got it!— He said smiling.

—You did? Wow!

—Yes— Timmy was so happy he couldn't hide it.

Armie was truly happy as well, it was a weird feeling, he couldn’t quite understand it. He was really happy for him, it was so genuine. The boy’s face lighted up as if he knew.

—Great news!

—I know. It’s amazing, it’s not a huge role, but still it’s a job. I’m finally getting some exposure.

—Hey it’s a start!.

— I know, thanks!

—Let me buy you a beer then— Armie told him

—No, please that’s not necessary.

—No, I want to, really. Also I want to apologize about yesterday.

Armie blushed a bit when he mentioned it.

—No need to apologize, really.

—I mean, I was a jackass, I was flirting with you, and I shouldn’t have.

—No, problem... but... may I ask why you did it,

Armie thought his face was about to explode. There was no way out. He was trapped. He had to speak. S _peak or die_ , he thought. He didn’t even know the answer.

—I didn’t think much about it. You are cute… not just cute... You are gorgeous… and I really didn’t think much about what I was doing. I apologize for that.

—No, don’t apologize. It was sweet— Timmy smiled tenderly, Armie almost melted when he saw the kid’s expression, it was fascinating to see Timmy’s feelings emerging so easily in his face.  Armie wanted to hug him so badly, he would kill for just one hug. _I’m so stupid._ He thought.

There were customers coming in so Armie had to go and talk to them, but he wanted so bad to come back and keep talking to Timmy, maybe just to keep looking at his sweet face as he drank his beer, that would have been enough for him.

—Busy night— Armie told him once he was back to Timmy— But please don’t leave.

_Shit_. He regretted his words right away. Was he going to make things awkward again? Apparently he was, but Timmy smiled. He was having fun talking to Armie. It was easy to talk to him, maybe because in a way they were kind of similar to each other. They were chatting friendly, but then, they were flirting again. It came as something natural in their interaction. It wasn't planned. They were both attracted to each other so much, so probably that was it. The attraction between them was so strong that even without noticing, they were back flirting, apparently they just couldn't stop it.

 

_Shit_. Armie was too self aware not to notice that Timmy was doing something to him. He would have never flirted like that before, he was a married man, and it was true that  his marriage was not working out so well, and things were not perfect with Elizabeth, his wife, but still he was in a marriage, and he was not the kind of guy who would easily forget something like that.

 

Timmy was drinking his beer when  Armie looked at the boy’s hand, he wanted to touch it, or at least to brush it lightly with his own skin.

 

—Can I have another one?— Timmy said as he was waving his empty bottle

—Sure— Without thinking much about it, the perfect opportunity came as he was leaving the bottle on the table, he wanted to do it, he needed to do it, he didn’t think about it, just went for it,

Armie put the beer in front of him, but with a subtle movement, for just a second his hands touched. It seemed like a very harmless act, just that it wasn’t, for either of them. Armie immediately regretted it, as he felt the rush of adrenaline flowing inside his veins.

 

_That was insane._ Touching Timmy’s skin like that, only made Armie crave for more. It was like a drug for him. _Jesus._ What was this kid doing to him? He didn’t know,  but he really enjoyed the way his skin felt under his touch. He loved talking to him, even just looking at him was an intense experience for Armie. What the hell was he thinking? He couldn’t quite understand what was going on?

 

Timmy felt it too. _It was nothing_ . He kept repeating to himself. _Nothing, just nothing, but an accidental touch, no repercussion._ But he was still feeling that sensation, he was well aware that their hands were not touching anymore, but he could still feel it. He knew it was no accident, Armie wanted to do it. Armie liked him, he could tell that much, but he was so shy, and so damn married, and it all stopped him from moving forward. That sweet caress seemed like a very meaningless action, but Timmy knew it wasn’t, he knew it, because he noticed Armie blushing just after it happened. It was the sweetest thing. Timmy was in owe. _Is this man for real?_

 

Timmy was smiling, Armie was trying to act normal, but it was very hard no to show his fascination towards the boy.

—You have to promise me something— Armie said boldly— once you become a famous movie star, don’t forget about me.

—Never— Timmy said smiling— whether I become a famous actor or not, I know I won't forget about you easily

 

Timmy was feeling well, just being there chatting with Armie, He had a warm feeling in his body. He thought it was because of the beer, he had been drinking for a while. Was it really the beer? Was it because of Armie?

—Easy on the beer— Armie warned him

—Why should I go easy on the beer mister?— Armie was thinking already in a million reasons. _Because if you drink more you are going to start losing your inhibitions, and I'm afraid of you. You are  so bold and you are already irresistible to me. Also If you keep on drinking like that you might get very drunk and I’ll have to send you home, and I don’t want to do that. Because I want to spend more time with you. But then the truth is that I want to kiss you so badly, so maybe it’s better if you just leave._

—Because you might get very drunk, and I’ll be very worried about you getting home safe— Armie managed to say.

_So damn sweet, so irresistible._

—You might have to take me home then, if you get so worried about it— Timmy bit his lower lip seductively as he said that.

_Fuck. Is this kid for real. Why would he said that? Doesn’t he know I’m already craving for those lips. How did he dare to say that and then bit his lips like that? Can’t he tell I’m suffering already? Jesus. I just… wish I could… maybe just kiss him, just once of course, just to get over this terrible craving._

—You are drunk, that’s why you said that?— Armie said.

_Of course I’m drunk, actually I'm very, very drunk. Otherwise I would never dare to say those things to a married man._ Timmy was thinking. _Is it the alcohol though? I wonder if perhaps my being drunk has more to do with those sexy blue eyes that are giving me way too much attention._

—How can you be so sure? I’m not that drunk?— Timmy said

—Then why else would you want me to take you home?

_You being this gorgeous and sexy boy, why else would you want me around you? You could have anyone just as gorgeous as you. Why are you even talking to me?_

—Because you are hell sexy— Timmy smiled. He could see Armie blushing again, and it was adorable. Timmy loved that about him, how his body would so easily give him away like that, he was so sweet.

_Shit kid, what are you doing, telling me those things? I’m only human. Shit. The truth is  I would love to take you home, tonight or any other night._

—Don’t say that. I’m not.

—Can I have another one?— Timmy said showing him his empty bottle.

_Another beer wouldn’t hurt. I’m feeling good. Armie is so attractive. But If I have another beer I might  want to kiss him. What am I saying? I want to kiss him already. I bet he wants me to kiss him too, he’s just shy, or it's maybe because he’s married. Shit he’s married. Damn._ Timmy kept forgetting that.

—Are you sure you can handle another one?— Armie asked

—Of course— Timmy said, although he wasn’t sure of anything at all. _Maybe just one more beer. After this one I’ll just go home. I’ll be fine._ Timmy felt the heat of his body caused by the alcohol. He removed his jacked. He had a purple t shirt on, his neck was exposed. His collarbone was showing. Armie just couldn’t look away.

 

_What’s wrong with me? I’m staring at him. I’m being creepy, I should stop now, but damn, that neck. Shit. How would it feel to kiss it? it must be glorious. What about a gentle bite? Shi! Shit! And he’s just a kid. How can I have so lascivious thoughts about a 21 year old?_

This time as Armie placed the beer on the table it was Timmy who caused the accidental touch of their hands. Armie looked at him. _Don’t do this_. He was internally begging. He knew he was way too weak.

 

As Timmy was drinking, he started feeling his head spinning a bit. _Shit, he was right. I drank too much beer already. What the fuck? Shit he’s going to think I’m an idiot, getting that drunk!_

—Are you ok? You look pale— Armie was concerned about Timmy. He suddenly didn’t seem well.

—Shit I think you were right. I drank too much. I think I’m gonna be sick!

_Damn, he’s so frail, so thin, and the way his face turned pale. Is he going to be ok? Is he going to faint?_

—Here have some water— Armie gave him a glass.

—I’m sorry you must think I’m an idiot.

—I don’t think any of that, you just drank too much. But I’m worried. Are you feeling any better?

—Shit not really. I think I better get going. I’m sorry.

—But you cannot go out like that— Armie was really worried. Timmy couldn’t possibly go out like that, he could feel sick in the middle of the street, someone could take advantage of him, he could be robbed or worse. Armie knew he was not going to let him go out like that.

—Listen, drink more water. You’ll feel better, meanwhile there is no way I’m gonna let you go anywhere.

—No, it’s fine, really. I’m not that drunk.

Timmy was humiliated enough by his drunkenness. He didn’t want to stay any longer. So he paid his bill and started walking out.

—Wait, Timmy, this is not wise.

—I’m fine, don’t worry. Thank you for tonight. It was nice talking to you— Timmy blinked at him and then walked out.

_The hell with this kid, Where does he think he’s going? it’s so reckless. Shit. What should I do? fuck!_ Armie was having a horrible time looking at Timmy walking out, his boss was looking at him as well.

—Maybe you should go check on him?— His boss said.

—What?

—Yeah, it’s not safe. People are already leaving so, go with him, get him in a cab or something. I would hate that something happened to him. We would be in the news.

—Are you sure?

—Yeah, just go, before I change my mind.

Armie didn't think about it twice and went after Timmy, he got him a block after.

—Hey wait!

Timmy turned his head to see him. _Shit! It's him. Oh fuck! He must think I'm a real loser._

—Why are you here?

_I cannot believe this boy, even when he's feeling sick he looks like a dream come true._

—I’m going to walk with you. I don't want you to get robbed or worse.

Timmy smiled. _It's more than ok. It's pretty awesome._

They walked together under the moonlight. Armie was checking on him as they walked, making sure he was alright.

_He's walking with me, why is he walking with me?_

—So where do you live?

—Just a couple of blocks more. We are almost there. It was very sweet of you to walk with me.

_He is sweet, and handsome, and he's walking me to my apartment. Would he like to go inside with me?_

They walked silently, both seemed nervous.

—This is my building

—Oh, ok— Armie said. _Did I sound disappointed that we arrived already? Did I want to walk with him longer? Am I enjoying his company way too much?_

—Well, take care then.

—I live in the fifth floor, there is no elevator. I could collapse… you know… in the stairs— Armie smiled. _This kid, what is this? is he trying to get me into his apartment? is that what he wants?_

—Ok. I’ll go with you then.

They got to his apartment’s door.

—This is me— Timmy finally said as they were outside his door— Would you like to come in?— Timmy asked as he bit his lower lip. _Here it is, the moment of truth, would you care enough as to get into my apartment with me, and then would you like to kiss me, for a while maybe? would you take off my clothes and then have sex with me? would you like to do that?_ Timmy was thinking. _Would you?_

How drunk was he not  to even care about Armie being married?

Armie’s body was burning, his lips were craving for a kiss, the tension among them grew intensively. Armie wanted to come in, he wanted to do it so badly, but he knew he shouldn’t. He was married, Timmy was so young and drunk, the scenario couldn’t be worse.

—Timmy... I don’t think it’s a good idea… it’s late and…

_Shit._  Armie didn’t want to hurt Timmy, but he was sure he just did it as he saw the kid’s disappointed face.

—Yeah… ok— He answered feeling a bit ashamed.   _Fuck, I was so stupid doing that... Why did I think for a minute he would say yes? Shit. It’s fine, it’s ok. It’s nothing really._

—I don’t care… you know… that you are married— It escaped Timmy’s mouth without him thinking about it, just like that. After saying those words he was mortified. _Why did I have to say something like that? Shit, that’s just pathetic._

 

_Shit this kid! What did he just say? That he didn’t care? I know myself too well, I’m way too weak to resist him. How can you not care boy? when you are so beautiful and intelligent? You don’t care because you are drunk, there is just no other explanation._

 

There was a tense silence. Nobody said a word. At this point it was clear for Timmy that Armie wasn’t going to go in, perhaps he was just looking for a polite way to escape. Either way Timmy was feeling pretty shitty, because he liked Armie, he liked him so much. He liked the way he had talked to him, he liked how their hands had touched casually.

—I’m sorry— Timmy said as he looked for his key in his pockets,  he was ready to get in the house and hide his face under his blankets forever.

 

He opened the door. Bye _Armie, I guess this is goodbye for us. I hope I never get to see you again,  I just threw myself at you and you just said no. You must think I’m pathetic._ Just as Timmy was about to get in his apartment Armie held his wrist.

—Wait— He said. He wasn't thinking, he was sure he wasn't thinking, his brain was shut. How else could he let that happen? _I'm so stupid, so stupid_. Armie got closer to Timmy. This _is a bad idea, this is such a bad idea._ But he knew it couldn't go differently,  the closeness of their bodies made  it unavoidable, there was a force pulling them closer, and closer, Armie stopped resisting and gave in to the most amazing and incredible kiss. It was tender, it was intense... it was bold. _What the fuck!_ His lips were soft. _So damn soft  and amazing._ He let himself go, he had wanted all night so badly to kiss those lips, those pink and gorgeous lips. But just as he had anticipated once he started kissing him, he just wanted more and more. One kiss would never be enough.  He must have him. _Shit! But I’m married, and this kid is so sweet, and gentle.. and so young… so damn young. He will regret this in the morning._ He didn’t even notice but they were already inside his apartment, their hands touching everywhere.

 

_I want this so much, I do._ Timmy grabbed Armie’s crotch and started caressing him, he was so hard under his jeans. He wanted it too.

_Shit! This kid is driving me crazy, he's so damn sexy, the way he’s kissing me, and touching me._ He knew he was going to fuck him that night, he wanted him so much. He grabbed the boy’s cock, ready to give himself in complete to that warm feeling that was taking over him, he couldn't remember when he had wanted to have someone so badly. _Never._ He was sure he had never wanted to have someone that much. Armie pushed Timmy towards the wall, his eyes closed, he was totally immersed in the moment, kissing Timmy's neck was glorious, just as he had imagined, his sweet skin was amazing, but then as he opened his eyes,  he saw a picture on the wall. Timmy was with his parents. just by looking at that picture he knew Timmy was deeply loved. He could tell by the way his parents were smiling, proudly, fondly. Young, beautiful Timmy surrounded by nothing else but unconditional love. It became so conflicting for Armie. Then he knew he had to stop it. Because he couldn't be in any way good for Timmy.

_Beautiful, you're so beautiful._ he kept repeating in his head. _I’m nothing, just nothing._

 

Armie had to stop it right away, if he kept going he would never be able to stop himself.

 

—I’m sorry— He said, and he pushed Timmy aside.

—What? wait!— Timmy said, but Armie was gone already. He didn’t even look back, he just walked away.

_I’m sorry, I’m sorry._ Armie kept repeating as he was leaving the building.

 

Timmy was left alone in his apartment, confused, trying to make sense of it all. _Why did he leave? I thought he wanted it as much as I did, why did he leave like that?_ Timmy didn’t have the answers, but he was feeling a terrible void  opening in his stomach. He was feeling sick. He went to the bathroom and started puking. He was sure it wasn’t the alcohol that made him that sick, it was Armie’s rejection. Why was he taking it so badly?

 

Timmy was in a very vulnerable state, he never felt more lonely before, he wanted to disappear so badly. Maybe he just needed to sleep, he was hoping he would feel better in the morning, but the void in his stomach was only growing wider. He threw up again.   

 

The following day Timmy didn't feel better as he was hoping. He didn’t want to think much about it either. He didn’t want to think about anything at all. Whenever Armie crossed his mind he tried so hard to think about something else. Even his body rejected the memory of him, by making him feel nauseous again.

In a couple of days Timmy stopped feeling bad, he didn’t feel good either, he just stopped feeling. _It's  better this  way._ He thought.


	4. Chapter 4

Armie was drying some glasses over the counter. He was feeling good, it was a special day for him, it was his last day working as a bartender. He had applied for a job in the security area, and he had finally gotten in. He was going to be a trainee for a while, but It was a start, he felt really optimistic about it, he would do whatever he had to, in order to succeed on it.

 

As he was cleaning the counter for the last time he couldn’t help to feel a bit nostalgic, after all he had been working there for almost 3 years, there were things he would never forget, he had met some nice people there, but there was a person in particular he was sure he would always remember; the memory of Timmy kept hunting him as the first day. Sometimes Armie wished that Timmy would cross that door again as he did before, smiling with that gracious and beautiful smile of him. 

 

Sometimes Armie remembered the events of that awful night. What would have happened if....? He was constantly wondering,  and he could picture a thousand sceneries, most of them ended badly, but once in a while there was one in which things turned out nicely for them, almost as a fairy tale. Maybe he did as a kid, but he did not believed in such things anymore.  Armie knew that once he stopped working at the bar there were cero possibilities of seeing Timmy again.

_ Maybe I should pay him a visit, I know where the guy lives, maybe I could just show up, and give my apologies, say something like, ‘listen kid, you were very drunk that night, and I know myself too well, If I hadn’t left the way I did, I wouldn’t have left at all, and even if that seemed ok for you at the time, I knew you would have regretted it, and I couldn’t have lived with myself, why? Well, because you are so gorgeous, you are beyond beautiful, and gentle as no one, and incredibly cute, but also there is something about you that makes me want to take care of you, which is probably the creepiest thing you’ve heard’.  _

_ No, bad idea.  _ But thinking about not seeing him ever again, didn’t make him happy either. _ Shit! _

 

Then he would have to learn to live with it. He met an angel once, he was so beautiful, and so tender, there was no one like him, and Armie had the most incredible feelings towards him. But then of course he was a married man, and the little angel got very drunk one night and wanted Armie to fuck him. He just couldn't do it, it would have been so wrong, so he walked away without explaining himself. And Armie would forever regret the way it all turned out. That was the story he had told himself.  Armie liked to think Timmy was somewhere being his own beautiful self, and that he had made the right decision waking away that night, it was the best thing to do, not for himself but for the boy, of course.

  
  


The following months were good for Timmy, after that first role, he started getting more and more jobs. Finally It was working out for him. He got a really good agent who was working really hard to get him to the right auditions. The exposure helped him a lot, his career was rising. He was so happy, and he was also traveling a lot. One night he was at home, he was in the mood for a drink. He didn’t know what got into him, but he decided to go to the bar where Armie used to work. Whatever had happened between them seemed  already too far away, Timmy thought maybe he could even see him, maybe talk to him.

 

When he got there he didn’t see Armie so he asked, when they told him he was no longer working there he felt it again, that void. It turned out he had really wanted to see him that night. He didn’t know why but he would have loved to tell him about his career. Then he understood, he would never get to see him again, it was weird how much it hurt him. 

 

Two years passed from the time when Timmy went to that bar for the first time. It didn’t seem like a lot of time, but for him, those years were  really important. His career took off spectacularly. Things were going really great for him. He was always so busy, but he was also so happy doing, what he was sure, he was meant to do with his life. Every new role was more promising than the previous one, critics kept prising his performances. People knew he would get an Oscar soon. One night he was coming back from Europe, his plane landed and Luca, his manager, was waiting for him.

—Hey, how was your flight?— He asked.

—It was long, not too bad though, I’m tired. 

—Yeah I can imagine, so do you want to have some dinner, or do you want to go home?

—Just go home. Actually I can just take a cab, you don’t have to drive me.

—Don’t be silly. It’s dangerous out there.

—It’s not Luca. Listen I know you are very protective with me and I really appreciate it a lot, but really I think I can just take a cab.

—Timmy, I wanted to talk to you about this anyway but come on, you're not careful enough. Your career is going so well, people are recognizing you in the streets, I think it’s better if you take your security more seriously. 

—What are you talking about? I take it seriously already.

—Really?Taking a cab? Listen I don’t want to discuss it with you right now, you are tired, let me take you home, sleep on in, we’ll discuss it tomorrow, just promise me you’ll think about it, ok?

—Alright, alright. I’ll think about it.

 

Timmy thought Luca was overreacting about it. He was being recognized, it was true, but fans were always friendly and respectful, he didn’t think something bad could happen to him. He still felt like a regular guy, but Luca was always looking after him. He was so protective of him. Timmy actually enjoyed it, he felt Luca was a bit as a parent to him, and he missed his own parents sometimes, so if he wanted to take care of him, maybe he should just let him do it, he thought.

 

The following day they met for breakfast. First they started discussing some projects and roles. Timmy was so excited about them. Then Luca brought up the topic of his personal security.

—Listen I know you think it is not necessary, but I would feel much better if you had someone around you.

—You mean like a bodyguard?

—Yeah, exactly, that’s what I mean—Luca immediately read on Timmy’s face his annoyance— Well, if you are not comfortable with the idea of having a bodyguard around you, then maybe we can have someone who isn’t necessary presented as a bodyguard but who knows what to do, in case of a difficult situation.

—Luca, I really think this is not necessary, like, the fans, they are very sweet, they would never hurt me or anything like that.

—Timmy, I don’t need to tell you this… or maybe I do, because your parents have taken such good care of you, so you might really don’t know it, but, kido, there are crazy people out there. I know your fans are amazing but, you do know what happened to John Lennon, right? And also I promised your parents that I was going to take good care of you, so come on, let me do it.

—Luca I do understand what you are saying but, I wouldn’t like to have a guy around me all the time, I wouldn’t be comfortable. 

—Ok, listen why don’t we hire someone with the right profile, and see how you feel. He doesn’t have to be around you all the time. I was thinking we could hire him to be your driver, so he could take you places  but at the same time he would also be in charge of your security, so if he thinks the situation you are in is in anyway unsafe, he would know what to do to get you out of it.

—So he would be my driver slash bodyguard?

—Right, If there is no reason for him to intervene he won’t, he would just take you wherever you want to go. But he’ll be around.

—It doesn’t sound so bad, but I’m afraid he would end up being a babysitter to me.

—What? Of course not! I trust you not to put yourself in dangerous situations, but just in case you happen to be in one, he would know how to handle it.

—Alright, fine. Let’s do this then, but if for whatever reason I don’t like the way this goes, we would have to stop it, look?

—Yeah sure, also I already did some research about some security agencies, they usually change the person every now and then, but if you don’t like him for whatever reason, they can change him right away, no problem. 

—Alright then.

—I’m going to meet up with some of their best people, and I’ll chose someone. Would you also like to interview them?

—No, no. You do it. I trust you will get the best guy for me. 

 

Timmy knew it was all pretty reasonable. He had known for a while that if his career kept going as good as it was, that moment would eventually come. So here he was, famous enough to hire a bodyguard. It could be a good thing, maybe he would feel safer, he knew  it was fine. But for some reason he was a bit restless about the whole thing. 

 

The following week it was all set up. Luca was going to his house to introduce the guy to him. He was going to start working right away. Luca wanted Timmy to get comfortable around him as soon as possible, because his schedule was going to be crazy in the next few days, so the bodyguard would need to know his way around Timmy.

 

So one morning Luca and the guy he had selected were in the living room waiting for Timmy to come down. The bodyguard was looking at the house. _ It’s so big and luxurious, this guy must be really famous _ . He thought. It would have been a good idea if he had asked a little about this guy he was going to work for. He didn't even asked his name, all he knew was that he was a famous actor, famous enough to need personal security around him.

 

Timmy entered the room and looked at the two men. The moment he saw his newly hired bodyguard his stomach flipped as if something he had eaten was making him very sick.

—Timmy, hi— Luca kissed his cheek— Timmy, this is Armie, Armie this is Timmy.

Luca said as an introduction, they shook hands, but both their faces turned pale. Luca kept giving Timmy all sorts of information about Armie, he talked so much about his skills. He kept talking for a while although he sensed something was not going quite well.

 

Armie was doing his best to remain calm,  _ I can do this, I can do this _ . He kept repeating to himself, but deep inside he was shocked. _ Why didn’t I asked his name first, why didn’t I? _ He didn't ask because he thought it was better that way, he wasn’t really into movies, so even if he knew the name that wouldn't do much. It was better for him not to know anything about the guy he thought, so he just wanted to see him as a regular guy. Of course he didn’t expect him to be Timmy, his angel. 

 

_ Shit! shit! shit!  _ He was doing his best not to show his emotions, he was so good at it, after all he was trained for that. He could tell Timmy was having a harder time hiding his own, it was so evident he was so... upset. 

_ So I would most surely not get the job anyway _ . He thought, he just hoped no details were given, he would rather not having to explain to his boss that he almost fucked a drunk boy when he took him home as he was working as a bartender, that could cost him his job. 

His palms started to sweat. 

 

He hadn’t talked or seen Timmy ever since, what if he was pissed?  _ Of  course he’s pissed. In a way I took advantage of him, I kissed him, and I touched him,  he did say he wanted that but, he was drunk. I’m so fucked up, I shouldn’t have gone with him that night, I knew it was a bad idea. _ He kept his poker face all they time, but deep inside inside he was dying. Also he couldn’t deny Timmy had only gotten more attractive as he aged. _ I must be a very sick man, thinking about that when I’m so into this shit! _

 

Timmy was listening quietly to everything Luca was saying, but he was not really there, his mind took him back in time to that night he got drunk and Armie walked him to his apartment. He went back precisely to that moment when Armie left. He could feel it again, the void, the nauseous feeling, the rejection. Armie didn’t want him. Then he noticed how all the fame and money hadn’t really changed him. He was the same guy who cried his eyes out that night in the most heartbreaking solitude. He had almost begged for it, and Armie had just walked away. The memory of it made Timmy very vulnerable. 

 

_ Why is this happening? Why is this happening now that everything seems to be going so well for me? Why should I be reminded of how pathetic I really am? Why should he reappear in my life like that? The way he looked at me, the way he said hi… as if… he didn’t even remember me.  _

 

And that thought just made Timmy feel even worse. 

 

_ Am I so insignificant that he doesn’t even know I am the guy who once threw himself at him? He was feeling sick, he was feeling so sick. _

 

—I’m sorry, nice meeting you Armie. Sorry, Luca I need to go… sorry— Timmy just disappeared. Armie felt he was going to faint. He thought all his hard work of the pastor years was just going to be useless once that kid opened his mouth and revealed who Armie really was. Luca was confused. He apologized and went upstairs looking for Timmy, he found him..

—Are you ok? Do you want me to call a doctor? — Luca was visibly concerned

—No, I’m fine— Timmy said emerging from the bathroom— I’ll be fine just… please… I cannot explain myself any further but, Armie… I cannot work with him.

—What? why not? I mean, you don’t think he’s the guy? he’s quite good at his job.

—I’m sure he’s, it’s just a personal thing, please I don’t want to talk about it, just please make him leave, and make sure he doesn’t come back... ever again.

—Timmy! What’s wrong? Please tell me, I’m worried now.

—It’s nothing really, just make him leave. Trust me, it’s nothing.

—Timmy what the hell! So you know him? 

—Yeah I do know him. Listen it's nothing really, some years ago I went to a bar and we met there. Let’s say things didn't go well, that's all.

—if it was nothing then why are you suddenly sick like this? Did he do something to you? I’ll make him pay, I swear. 

—No, no, he did not do anything to me, It’s just me, I cannot be around him, I’m sorry.

 

Luca came back to the living room, Armie was pale and worried, Luca understood there was something huge going on between them, What was it? He wanted to know.

—Hey Armie… I don’t know how to say this but....

_ Fucked, I’m done. I’m so fucked up! _

—Listen, I’m sorry. I was an idiot back then. I know he doesn’t want to be near me, but please… I’ve been working so hard for this job, I really don’t want to lose it. I really need it, I have a kid… please. 

Timmy was listening from upstairs. _ Did he just say he had a kid and he needed the job? _

—Armie start talking to me right now, otherwise you are going to get in deep shit! What the hell happened?— Luca asked him in a severed tone.

—So… you don’t know?— Armie seemed confused.

—Start talking. What did you do to him?

—Two years ago, I was just walking with him, he had too much to drink… I just wanted to make sure he made it home safe… but then he just…

_ Oh no _ ! Armie was about to tell Luca what happened that night, Timmy felt embarrassment.  _ No please, don’t tell Luca what happened.  _

—I think I’m feeling better— Timmy said as he walked in the room.

—What is going on Timmy? What happened two years ago? What was that terrible?

—Nothing important, really, I overreacted actually, If he needs the job he can keep it— Timmy had a straight face, Luca couldn’t read him.

—No, I don’t like this. We need to reconsider. Sorry Armie.

—No Luca— Timmy said in a very authoritarian voice— I don’t have time for this, I said it was fine, he got the job. Armie take the day off, I will see you tomorrow at 9. I’ll have a busy day so make sure you are ready for it.

 

Armie  just walked out without really knowing what else to say.

He left, Once he walked out the door Luca Showed his concern to Timmy.

—I cannot allow this, I was looking for someone to protect you, not someone who represents a risk. He cannot come back into this house. I’m calling the agency and I’m going to have him fired if you don’t tell me exactly what the hell happened two years ago when you were drunk.

—Luca, please stop this.

—Timmy! Did he rape you? 

—No! He did not! 

—Then what the hell happened?

—I don’t want to tell you, but he didn’t hurt me, at least no physically.

—So if he did hurt you in whichever way, he cannot be around you.

—Luca I said it was fine. 

—Timmy I promised your parents I was going to take care of you and I will, even if you oppose to it.

—No Luca. You work for me, so you’ll do as I say.

—No if that means putting you in risk. You can fire me, but I’m not having a predator near you.

—I said he didn’t rape me. Don’t make that assumption.

—But you did say he hurt you. So I don’t care if you want to protect him just because he said he had a child. I’ll have him fired even if that means that I would lose my job as well, I’m not going to have him near you.   

—Please don’t do this— Timmy started crying— Don’t make me tell you about it.

—He did rape you, that asshole— Luca was furious. He got his cell phone out and dialed a number.

—Please, don’t Luca. He didn’t.

—Then tell me.

—Alright I’ll tell you, just please hung up.

—Alright I’m listening.

Timmy told luca what happened two years back, how they met and they flirted. How Armie made him changed his mind about quitting acting, once he was ready to let it go. But then he also talked about that night.

—He left and I just felt so bad because I was practically begging him to take me, and he didn’t want me.

Timmy’s face was burning with embarrassment.

—It really made me feel so bad, like I wasn’t worth it, or something. I’m ashamed of myself for it, that’s all.

Luca was a bit relief as he listened to Timmy’s story.

—Jesus Christ Timmy I almost call the cops on that guy.

—I told you he didn’t rape me, I don’t know why you immediately assumed that.

—Well he said he walked you to your apartment because you were drunk, and you got really pale when you saw him, so it made a lot of sense.

—I told you not to worry, but you just went crazy.

—No, you went crazy, you scared the hell out of me Timmy, I was really worried, but anyway if you are not comfortable with the guy, we should look for someone else.

—Didn’t you hear how much he needs the job. He has a son. And none of it was his fault.

—Listen I need you to feel comfortable, and clearly he’s not the guy, let’s move on, we’ll find someone else. And Timmy... about that night, you were drunk, your memory of the event could be altered somehow, and then, the fact that the guy left, I don’t really know his reasons, well the main one should be he's married. But let's even put that aside for a while.   You shouldn’t feel bad about any of it. Even in the case that you were begging him to take you, as you just said, and he didn’t want you, you know your value doesn’t lie in the fact that a guy wanted or not to sleep with you. Don’t be embarrassed about something like that. I get that you felt bad about it, but it's already in the past. Timmy the way you reacted, you are being way too hard on yourself. I’m sorry you felt that way, but really, you shouldn't have. 

Luca hugged him fondly. Timmy smiled but he was still embarrassed.

 

—Let’s see how it goes, with Armie, I promise if I’m not comfortable having him around I will tell you.

—Ok, after all, I work for you, right? I have to do what you say— Luca said a little hurt.

—I didn’t meant  to say that, you know I didn’t, I’m sorry.

—It’s ok— Luca hugged him again.


	5. Chapter 5

Armie arrived home earlier than he expected. He was overwhelmed by everything. He never imagined, not even in his wildest dreams that he would get to see that boy again, neither could he had  predicted the circumstances of their encounter.

 

_Did that really happen?_ He was wondering. Armie was clearly conflicted. He was more than happy to see Timmy again, but the way things had gone was unfortunate. Armie was restless that night, of course he was worried, but also he was somehow  affected by the encounter.

 

_Porcelain skin, green nostalgic eyes, soft voice, pink lips, lips… those lips._

 

Many things had changed in Armie's life during the past years, changing his job put in motion many things around him and changes started to occur. He also started having the most unusual dreams. Sometimes they were scary, some other times they were unexpectedly soothing. But there was something in his dreams that was so real for him, as if there was raw honesty hidden in them, and Armie just couldn't look away.

  


The following day Armie arrived on time to the mansion. A  lady that introduced herself as Liza opened the door for him.

—He’ll be here in a minute, would you like some orange juice?— she asked politely.

—No, I’m fine thanks—he answered with a serious face.

—Are you sure, did you even eat? I can serve you breakfast if you want.

—No, thank you so much. I’m fine.

—Tomorrow be here 30 minutes earlier. I’ve been instructed to serve you breakfast everyday. if you are going to take care of my Timmy I need to make sure you eat well— she said a bit authoritarian. Armie wouldn't dare to contradict her.

Timmy walked into the room and kissed Liza’'s cheek fondly.

—Hi Armie— He said— So today I have a busy day so, I hope you are ready.

—I am— Armie said. They walked out the door, Armie was following Timmy with his usual poker face.

The day was very busy, Armie took him to several locations. Whenever they got to a place, he opened the door for him as he looked in different directions calculating potential risks. Timmy couldn't help it but to admire how good looking Armie was, acting so profesional like that. He was kind of shocked of how a couple of years hadn't really made a difference about the way he felt, he was still undeniable attracted to the blond guy.

 

Later on they day he had a photoshoot with her friend Saoirse, an actress he had worked with in several movies. Directors love them together,  and they were really good friends.

—Who is that?— She asked Timmy when she saw the blond guy walking with him.

—My bodyguard slash driver, do you like him?

—Timmy, so you want me to believe that he’s gorgeous and you haven’t noticed.

—I noticed— he said with a melancholic tone.

—What?— She asked curiously.

—Nothing, he’s just not my type.

She knew he was totally his type. She was wondering why he lied.

 

The photoshoot went fine, they had fun as usual. Once it was over Armie drove him to an interview, as he was driving, Armie couldn't help it but to look in Timmy's direction when he seemed to be distracted, he looked at him through his rearview mirror, and Timmy was so handsome, so absolutely beautiful, just as he was two years ago, he had change a bit, he grew up, but his features only emphasised more. Suddenly Armie started feeling it again that unusual attraction towards the boy. He did his best to repress it.Timmy felt his gaze and look at him but Armie immediately looked away. Timmy was his boss now, he wouldn't dare thinking of him differently.

—How old is your kid?— Timmy asked

—He’s going to be two next month.

—Oh, so when I met you…?

—She was already pregnant but I found out one month later.

—Oh, ok.

There were so many things unsaid between them, but conversations were short, Timmy just wanted to keep  things civil with him. It was awkward, but not terribly. He could deal with it, he was going to be fine, Timmy kept repeating to himself.

 

That night it happened again. Armie had an unusual dream, but it wasn’t an unpleasant one.

_The beauty of it all overflows me. Because somehow I suspect it's you, behind it all. Somewhere, as if your shadow is hidden there, and I don't even need to see it. It is you, always you. The image never changes. And I miss you. And  I know it's just a dream, It must be a dream, because I'm talking to you, and I never talk to you. Because you always disappear before I could articulate my first word. And you leave me and I miss you, and I need you but I can't even say it anymore, because then I noticed, I have no voice. It's gone. I've lost it, I've lost you. I need to talk to you, and I need to tell you about it, about your beauty, and my desires. And it's as if I have to learn another way to communicate myself, because words are not enough or never were._

  


The problem with those dreams was that they always left Armie in a very vulnerable place. He couldn't quite tell, but he had a feeling of emptiness he couldn't easily let go. It was attached to him for a while after he woke up. And it never disappeared completely.

 

Armie liked to drive Timmy around, he liked to wear his sunglasses as he did so, that way he could watch Timmy as he pleased without getting caught. He really enjoyed looking at him. He was so beautiful, all his features were perfect, just as he remembered him. He admitted to himself that he had thought about Timmy more than he should have in the previous couple of years.

—I never said thank you— Timmy said all of a sudden. He didn't look at him directly as he said it. He was looking outside his window,

Armie was stunned when he heard that. _Thank you? Why would you thank me for? I was an asshole to you._

—You don't need to thank me. I didn't do anything.

—You convinced me not to give up acting, remember?

_Is he for real? After all this time and he still wants to thank me for that? He's just amazing._

_—_ It clearly  would have been a mistake _—_ Armie said smiling a bit, just the kind of smile that wouldn't require too much from him, just simply putting his lips together slightly.

—Thank you for changing my mind that day.

—You are very welcome— Armie said internally screaming but playing it cool. Armie had gotten so good at hiding his emotions, so Timmy was totally lost with him. He really bought that straight face. Timmy simply thought that everything about himself (other than his security) was absolutely unimportant to Armie. It couldn't be different. Timmy couldn't have possibly suspected that Armie had veiled feelings towards him.

Timmy looked out the window and kept quiet for the rest of the ride, feeling a little sad, a little lost.

 

Armie was always on time, he was very professional. Timmy didn't have any complaint about it. He was so good at his job but he was also so cold. He almost never talked without being asked something first. Timmy tried to start casual conversation with him, trying to be polite, but soon he started feeling out of place, so he stopped his attempts. It was clear to him that Armie just didn't want to talk to him.

_Why did I think he would? Wasn't he clear enough two years ago?_

 

So Timmy just stopped trying. He just said hello in the mornings and goodbye at night. He hated it, but it was how things turned out between them.

 

Armie did the best job he could. He was committed to serve Timmy so efficiently. He was so concentrated in doing it, and of course he was not going to allow any mistake. But he couldn’t deny that he still felt so attracted to Timmy, every single day he had to make a big effort not to show it. He knew that sometimes he seemed distant, but he also knew he had to keep that facade in order to keep doing a good job.

 

One night Armie was driving Timmy to an important party. Timmy was on the phone with someone, he seemed a little shy when he talked, which was a bit unusual, and Armie immediately noticed it. It was as if he didn't want Armie to hear what he was saying over the phone, as if he wasn't comfortable.

—Hey, hi… Are you ready? I'm on my way, I'll be there in 5 minutes. Can you walk out? I'm already late. Ok… see you then.

 

He hung up. Armie was wondering who he had called but He knew he would find out soon enough anyway.

As they arrived to the location a guy jumped in the car. He was a tall, handsome, blond guy, older than Timmy. He jumped in and kissed Timmy’s lips.

—Hey babe! I missed you— The guy said as Timmy got visibly uncomfortable.

—Hey, hi!— He said.

Armie was annoyed. That guy was Timmy’s boyfriend. He knew it right away, and Armie was having mixed emotions about it. The guy was handsome, but he wasn't remarkably good-looking. Armie had imagined that the guy who got to be with Timmy had to be as gorgeous as he was. But then he thought that would have been impossible. _No one is as gorgeous as Timmy, of course._

The guy was all over Timmy, he wanted to kiss him as if there was no tomorrow. Timmy didn't seem to be enjoying it so much. Armie was feeling sick all of a sudden.

  


They arrived to the party. Armie usually parked the car and immediately went to check on Timmy. This time he didn't, he decided to give him space, after all he was with his boyfriend, he surely didn't want to have his bodyguard around. And Armie surely didn't want to see that asshole kissing him all night long. It was clear he had developed unfriendly feelings toward the guy almost immediately. He wouldn't bear to see them together. Armie was feeling   annoyed, and he knew damn well it was because he wanted so much to be in that guy's shoes.

 

When the party was over Timmy came out looking for Armie, when he found him Timmy smiled fondly, so naturally.

 

That was the most  beautiful thing about Timmy, that light he had, it shone so naturally in the most unexpected moment, that was who he was. When Armie saw that beautiful smiled he almost forgot about the bad time he was having.

—Why didn't you come inside?— Timmy asked. As Armie listened to his voice he knew he was a bit drunk.

—I thought you wanted some space since you were with your ‘boyfriend’.

Armie immediately regretted having used that tone when he said that word.

—I missed you there— Timmy said boldly. Armie smiled warmly at him. _Did he just say that? Did I dream it?_ But then it all ended too soon as the guy came out.

—There you are, I was looking for you babe.

—Nick I told you, I was ready to go home, but you just didn't listen.

—Sorry babe.

They both jumped in the car. Armie was trying so hard not to show how annoyed he was with the whole boyfriend situation.

Nick was drunker than Timmy, and again he wanted to kiss him all the time. Timmy didn't want to.

—Timmy, babe, don't be shy.

Timmy looked at Nick with severily, and suddenly Nick understood he was shy because Armie was there.

—He doesn't give a fuck about us babe— Nick said looking un Armie's direction. As bad as it made Timmy feel, he knew he was right. Armie didn't care about them… about him. He kissed Nick back. But then as Nick was kissing him Timmy slowly opened his eyes and looked at Armie. He was staring at them, but there was something going on there that Timmy couldn’t quite understand, Armie was visibly upset. Timmy was shocked to see that, Armie for once was showing emotion. That was so revealing. He couldn't read Armie clearly, was he angry? Actually he was more like furious… or even… jealous. But no, it just couldn’t be.

_Why would he be jealous? He doesn't care about me at all. It doesn't make any sense._

 

But Armie kept staring at the two man making out, and whichever the reason Timmy was surprisingly  turned on by Armie’s staring. Not only had he discovered that Armie wasn't as cold and distant as he had made him believed, but he also learnt he was not totally indifferent towards him. Timmy boldly looked straight at Armie as he was kissing Nick, it took all there courage in him to do it, but he didn't look away.

 

Armie had both hands on the wheel. He was holding it too tight. He hadn't noticed but he was speeding more and more as he was watching the two boys making out. He hated so much to see somebody kissing Timmy, specially someone like Nick, so… dull. Timmy deserved so much better, and angel like him couldn't settle for less that he actually deserved. He was so pissed. But he couldn’t understand why he immediately assumed Nick wasn’t right for him, after all, he didn’t know anything about him.

_That asshole… he doesn't know what he's got. he’s so stupid. The way he's kissing him, so… careless. Does he even know how to kiss Timmy. Of course he doesn't, he's so gross. Shit! Why am I getting so angry? I shouldn't. I need to put myself together. And the way Timmy is looking at me while he kisses him. Why is he doing it? Can't he see how crazy he's making me?_

Armie knew he was being absurdly irrational at that moment. His blood was boiling within his veins. _Stop this Timmy, don't let him kiss you, please_!

 

Armie was so upset he didn't notice there was a red light. He tried to stop but he almost didn't make it on time. _Shit_! They almost crashed.

Armie stopped the car, and went out. He banged the door furiously.

—What the fuck?— Nick asked. He was drunk and confused. Timmy followed Armie.

—What the fuck was that Armie?— Timmy asked visibly upset.

—I’m sorry, I'm sorry— Armie kept saying.

—Stop apologizing and tell me what the hell was all that about?

—I’m sorry… I'm just...

Armie looked at the car, as if his eyes wanted to scream, that it was because of that man that he was so upset.

— I'm an asshole— Armie said, his face full of regret.

Nick got out of the car as well. When Armie saw him there was fury on his eyes, and he couldn't hide it. Then Timmy knew it, that gaze he hold to Nick, it was true, Armie was jealous. Timmy froze with the revelation.

 

_What the fuck? Why is he acting like that? He barely speaks to me, as far as I know he probably hates me, and then this reaction._

Armie and Nick got back in the car.  It took Timmy a bit longer to get in. The way back was awkward. Nick was sleeping, Timmy and Armie were silent.  

—Timmy, I’m sorry, that would never happened again. I got distracted, I didn’t see the red light— Armie said, as he was parking the car in front of Timmy’s house.

—You almost got us killed— Timmy said visibly upset, Nick started snoring.

—I understand. I was an asshole, I know— Armie was really ashamed, Timmy could see how sorry he was.

—But why? why were you so… upset?— Their eyes met, Armie noticed how utterly confused Timmy was, as if the realization of Armie’s jealousy caught him unguarded. Armie’s poker face finally failed, the mask disappeared, Armie showed his real self, and just for a moment Timmy contemplated Armie’s vulnerability. He was sorry, ashamed and  very jealous. He did care about him. Armie looked down as Nick woke up.

—Are we home yet?

—Yes, we are here— Timmy said. They both got out of the car. Timmy felt uneasy, as if he wanted to say or do something, but he didn’t quite know what to do. Little did he understand about Armie’s feelings.

 

_And then I see a thousand shades, coming to my eyes. For an instant everything is there in front of me. And it's you… again… I get to see you one more time, and you are beautiful, so beautiful. But I'm dreaming and it hurts a bit, that I don't get to see you when I'm awake. And it is as if we kept a promise, but it's not true, there is no promise. I have nothing to hold on to._


	6. Chapter 6

Nick was not the perfect boyfriend. He met Timmy at a party one year before. Nick was an aspiring actor and Timmy was already being recognized for his work. Nick saw in Timmy the perfect opportunity; he was famous, handsome, and needy. _What a combo_. He thought.  So he asked him out without thinking much about it. He liked him, of course, but love was such a strong word for Nick to use. He had told Timmy several times that he loved him, and to be honest he did have feelings towards the boy, but he didn't really love him. There was nothing wrong with Timmy, but  Nick really didn't love anybody but himself. Sometimes he even got a little bored with him.

 

Timmy hated the fact that Nick always left right after sex, he never spent the night with him. Nick always said he wanted to give Tim space, but Timmy had never really ask for that space. Still he respected Nick’s decision, and never really questioned it, but he hated it the same.

 

Timmy and Nick were together but at the same time Timmy had the feeling that he was on his own. He knew things were not alright between them but Timmy wanted to believe that it would get better with time.

 

The following morning Timmy went out to meet his friend Saoirse. He got in the car and then he saw someone else on the driver’s seat.

—Good morning Mr Chalamet.

—Good morning. Where is Armie?

—I’m sorry I was sent here by the agency, I don’t really know anything else.

 

Timmy felt some sort of discomfort right in his stomach. _He left, he left, he left, he left._ He kept repeating to himself.

—Is everything ok?— The driver asked.

—Yeah, yes... sorry. It’s nothing personal, I just got used to Armie, that’s all— He said, as the car started moving Timmy called Luca to discuss his agenda, and some other things.

—...Luca, by the way, do you know what happened to Armie?

—Oh yeah, the agency called very early in the morning, I think he was no longer available, they didn’t give me further details. They just told me someone else as competent, would be there for you this morning.

—But, is he gonna be back?

—They didn’t say anything really, but… why are you asking? I mean honestly I think it’s a good thing to have someone else. After what happened with you two. I’ve noticed how uncomfortable you are sometimes around him, so maybe it’s ok to have a different guy.

—No, it’s not ok, I’m not uncomfortable around him, I mean… I want him back.

—Timmy… is this some sort of crush?

—No, nothing like that.It’s just that... last night I got a bit mad at him because of a traffic incident. Maybe he thought I didn’t want him anymore, but I do.   

—What traffic incident?

—Nothing happened, he was just distracted for a minute, it’s not a big deal, but I was angry, and maybe he thought… I don’t know,  please can you call?

—Yeah, I’ll call. But I don’t know if they can actually bring him back, maybe he doesn't want to come back— Timmy was gloomy.

—Just see what you can do ok? Thank you.

_Maybe he doesn't want to come back._

 

—What is it with that face?— Saoirse asked him as he arrived to the restaurant?

—Nothing much, I’m fine, just a minor thing.

—Oh, ok, what minor thing?

—Just my driver, they changed him.

—The gorgeous driver slash bodyguard? No way! Why would they do that?

—I think he just made the decision. Last night he didn’t see a red right, and I got a bit angry at him.

—He didn’t? I mean… How did that happen? was he distracted or...?

—Well if I’m going to tell you this you should probably know the whole thing then. Last night he was distracted because he was looking at me as I was making out with my boyfriend in the backseat.

Saoirse was both shocked and amused.

— and, also relevant, I was staring back at him the whole time, right into his eyes. So he didn’t see a red light and we almost crashed.

Saoirse bursted out laughing.

—I knew it! you little bitch! You want him!

Timmy on the other hand was mortified, but he thought It was good to finally tell someone about it, other than Luca. So he just told her everything, how they had met two years ago, and what had happened the night he walked him home.

 

—I think he likes you too —Saoirse told Timmy— The way he reacted to you and Nick making out, it means he’s not unaffected by you.

—But, then why did he leave? I mean, why did he leave now and why did he leave two years ago when we were in my apartment?

—Well maybe you should ask him that.

—I’m not sure I can stomach his answer. And also I don’t want him to think I’m creepy, you know, talking about something that happened so long ago.

—Well  you should ask, and yes you are creepy, but we like you the same Timmy —She kissed his cheek— Just talk to him about it. Otherwise, it’s always going to be awkward between you two.

Timmy knew she was right. If they were going to spend  time together they would need to talk it out for once.

 

The following morning Timmy got in the car ready to start his day,  when he jumped in, he saw Armie on the driver seat.

—Good morning! —Armie said. His usual poker face was back.

—Hello —They didn’t say much but Timmy felt good to have him back. _He's back, he's back._ Just as they got  to their destination, Timmy got courageous.

—Armie….

—Yes…

—Two years ago… when we were at my apartment… and you left….Why did you leave?— Armie looked at Timmy.

—Timmy… I… I’m sorry —The question caught him unguarded. Clearly he wasn’t ready to give an answer. _And what is the real answer to that question anyway? I left because I got scared_? Armie wanted to scream, but  he just stared at him in complete silence, he was desperately looking for words but he just didn’t find them. Timmy understood he was not getting his answer. He went out of the car. As he was walking  he thought that even if he hadn’t gotten his answer, he did get something from him. again Armie’s poker face failed, Timmy got to see him as he was, unguarded.

 

The following evening Timmy asked Armie to pick Nick up at his house. Armie didn’t say anything but he was really annoyed with that assignment. Why _should I drive that asshole around, I’m here to look after the kid’s security, Nick can take a cab. I know I drive Tim places But I’m not just his driver._ He was very mad But he didn’t say anything to Tim because he knew it wasn't his place. Tim couldn’t help but to notice how annoyed Armie really was.

 

When Nick got in the car he didn’t even say hi. He was talking on his cellphone. The conversation called Armie's attention.

—Yeah we are going to meet some friends… Yeah it is going to be boring, I know. Do I get to see you tomorrow?... He’s going to be busy all day, don’t worry, I think he has some interviews or something… I can go to your place… we could have fun babe… Oh really?... I’d love that. Would you wear that for me? Jesus I’d love that… So please, be ready for me tomorrow… I’m going to make it up to you babe… don’t worry about him he’ll never find out… see you tomorrow then… I love you.

 

Armie couldn’t believed what he just heard. _That asshole._ Armie’s blood was boiling. How could Timmy be with a guy like that. He couldn’t find a single reason. He was good looking, but that was all he got. Besides that, he was a complete jackass who clearly didn’t deserve to be with Timmy.

 

Armie was quiet as usual, he drove them to the party. By that moment Timmy was used to Armie’s poker face again, but Timmy knew there was something else that was bothering him. _Perhaps he’s done with me._ When they arrived to their location, Nick got out of the car.

—I’ll be there in a minute— Timmy told him.

—Alright— Nick said without caring so much.

—Is everything ok?— Timmy asked Armie.

—Yeah, sorry, I didn't mean to seem distracted… just… I know it's not my place, and I apologize for this but, Nick… he's not a good person… like really I don't think he's good for you… I'm sorry to say this.

_Why is he doing this? How can he make such an assumption about someone he has seen a couple of times._

—Thank you for sharing your not very informed opinión, but if you don't mind I like to chose my boyfriends myself, thank you. And You were right, you were out of place.

 

Timmy got out of they car, he was pretty upset. _Shit. I shouldn't have opened my mouth._ Armie was thinking.

After the party the couple got in the car again, Nick was clearly drunk, Timmy wasn´t. Nick started kissing Timmy, Armie took a deep breath and tried to get himself ready for another make up session as the last one. He knew he couldn’t react as he did before, so he had to try harder this time. He did his best not to look at them through the mirror. He was doing a good job until he listened something unusual.

—Stop Nick, you are drunk —Timmy told him, but Nick wasn’t really listening— I said stop.

—Come on baby! Don’t be shy, it’s ok —Armie felt his body burning.

—Stop it! We are not alone— Timmy told him.

—He doesn’t care about us, why would you care about him?— But Armie knew he cared a little too much about what was going on in that backseat. He heard kisses, and then a zipper.

—Don’t do that! Stop!— Timmy said visibly upset.

—Don’t be shy babe, I know you want it— Timmy was pushing him.

—No! I  don’t. Don’t be an idiot! Please Nick! Stop this now!

—You like it! I know you want this.

There was struggling in the back seat.

—Don’t— Timmy screamt again. The struggle intensified, Armie clenched his fists as he hit the brake pedal right in the middle of the street. He got out of the car in one quick an unexpected movement, and walked towards the back seat, he opened the door and pulled Nick forcefully out of the car. His pants were down. He pushed him to the sidewalk as if he was a piece of thrash, which he truly was. Armie was so furious that Nick didn’t dare to do anything about it. Then he closed the door, went into the car and kept driving as if nothing had happened, just like that. He was furious and did his best to keep his composure. Timmy was overwhelmed by it all, after some minutes, he started crying silently. Armie’s heart was breaking with every sob. So he pulled over as soon as he could. He went into the back seat, and sat next to him.

 

—I was scared… I was afraid— Armie said. Timmy looked at him confused— You asked before, why I had left that day…and that is my answer. First I thought I had left because it was the right thing to do, because you were drunk, and of course if something would have happened you would have regretted in the morning, that was what I told myself. I was doing the right thing for you. But the reality is that… I was being selfish, I left to protect myself, because I liked… like you so, so  much. And when I kissed you... i felt overwhelmed. You are beautiful, in all possible ways. There is something within you that I can't understand or describe, but it's beyond beauty —And as he was saying those words his eyes turned thoughtful— You deserve better that Nick. You are amazing. I wished you could see yourself through my eyes right now— Armie wiped away tenderly the tears from Timmy’s eyes.

—Please don’t cry, he doesn’t deserve not even one of your tears. Don’t ever cry for that asshole, ever again. please— he stared deeply into his eyes as he said that. He knew for once he was being honest with Timmy.

Through his eyes Timmy was unique, beautiful, amazing, the best person he had met. Timmy was in awe. Surprised by having seen this side of Armie, so sweet and caring. Armie smiled at Timmy, then went back to the front seat and continue driving. They didn't say a word in the way back, they didn’t have to.

 

That night Armie had a very singular dream. It was sweet and deep. One of those dreams that left him exhausted in the morning.

 

_It has to be you… please, let it be you again and I know it comes as a desperate request. And I know that dreaming with you would never be enough, I need the physicality of your touch that is never there, and your words that remain hidden under a thousand layers, but I still need you and you need to know it. Tragically I can't even say it. It's just a dream, again. It's nothing more than that mighty feeling growing relentlessly within my chest, something so massive that I could never overcome it. You have to stay with me this time. But I’ll wake up and you will be gone, so gone, and my limbs will hurt a bit, as if knowing you are not there will ache a little.  It will be me, in an empty room, pale walls, and for a minute I won't be able to stand it, as if being myself became unbearable. But that incomprensible feeling won't be totally gone… And I wish for so many things right now, but it’s just that, wishing, and wishing, I’m empty handed, and lost, but I'll be wishing until the end of it all._

 


	7. Chapter 7

_ Sweetness on my lips as if I had just kissed you, faceless creature, you never seize to amaze me in your beauty, in the calmness that you irradiate and this unknown feeling that doesn't go away, not completely at least. My darling, don't leave, I beg as they morning comes, I wish… I wish for you to stay with me a little longer. At least until I'm fully awake and I can look at you and then remember you. Never mind. It's going away already, you or this, or the night, or they promises... not even that, the words never left my mouth. _

  
  
  


They following morning Timmy was lazily lying on his bed, he was awake but didn’t want to get up just yet. He was feeling kind of happy, and he was thinking maybe it had something  to do with the fact that Armie had revealed so much of himself the night before.Timmy looked at his cellphone, he had several missed calls from Nick but he didn’t feel like talking to him at all. He had also sent many messages but Timmy didn’t feel like reading them either. He was busy deep in his own head. Bringing back the memorias of they previous night. _ Did Armie actually said that? Did I dream it?  _ It was getting late, as much as Timmy was enjoying that morning relaxation, he knew he had a busy day, he had to get going.

 

—Hi Armie—Timmy said as he was getting in the car.

—Hello Timmy. Are you feeling better?

—Actually I am. Thank you— Armie smiled.

—My pleasure— He answered looking deep into his eyes  Timmy shivered.

Timmy had several activities planned for the day, It was a busy one, so first they went to a photoshoot for a magazine.

—I’ll see you inside— Timmy told him as he was getting out of the car.

—Sure, I’ll bring your jacket, it might be cold.

Timmy was very comfortable with photoshoots but this one in particular seemed to be going really well, he was enjoying it, maybe it was because he knew Armie was staring at him the whole time and somehow that made Timmy feel kind of uninhibited. He was even a bit bold when posing. At first Armie didn’t know what to do and hid behind his usual facade, but little by little he started to unwined. He was truly enjoying the view. The photographer always required privacy for his shootings, but he didn't object Armie's presence there, it brought something to the table. At the end of it the photographer was satisfied with his pictures. He knew Timmy was more of a demure model, so  he was happy to have gotten such interesting shots. Timmy seemed genuine, and flirtatious throughout the shoot.

—Maybe you should bring that guy more often to this things— The photographer said looking in Armie's direction. Timmy blushed. 

There was no reason for Armie to hide behind his usual poker face anymore. Timmy had already called the bluff, but Armie also knew it wasn’t wise to just show his fascination towards the boy openly, after all he was a professional, this was his job. 

 

—You were really good in that photoshoot— Armie said as they were both back in the car.

—Thank you, I had fun actually.

  
  


Timmy’s phone rang, it was Nick again. Timmy ignored the call, he was annoyed, but finally he decided to look at the messages he had been getting all day.

 

9:00 AM

_ Hey babe, I’m sorry about last night. It was a mess. I had too much to drink. Please call me. Let’s clear this misunderstanding. _

 

10:00 AM.

_ Hey, babe. I know it’s early, but I know you had an early appointment today. Come on, let's talk about last night. Let’s not make this into something bigger. _

 

12:00 pm.

_ I know you are angry, but, come on. I just had a lot to drink. Let’s talk about it babe. _

 

3:00 pm

_ Really mature Timothée. LETS TALK. _

 

5:00 pm. 

_ Get on the phone now. Your stupid bodyguard made this into something it was not. He doesn’t know what was really going on. I don’t know why you didn’t stop him, or are you going to keep pretending you didn’t want it? _

 

6:00 PM.

_ Come on! It was a game. I wasn’t really going to hurt you or anything. You know me. Please just answer the damn phone. Timmy! _

 

Timmy seemed disturbed by what he was reading.

 

—Is everything alright— Armie asked. He suspected that Nick had something to do with his sudden mood swing.

—Yeah, it's okay— but Timmy got upset. He decided to write back.

 

_ I really don’t want to see you or talk to you, so stop sending messages. Last night was awful. Nothing is going to change what happened, so just stop writing. There is no misunderstanding, I was there, remember? _

  
  


Timmy couldn't hide the fact that he was hurt. Nick had been his boyfriend for more than a year, it was hard for him to see that Nick really didn't love him.

  
  


Armie and Timmy got really closed in the days to follow, the easy camaraderie let something  else grow between them, something deep and strong.  _ A friendship perhaps.  _ Timmy was thinking, but he didn’t really want to think about it much. They really enjoyed being together.  

 

—You have to wear your sunglasses all the time?— Timmy asked one day as Armie was driving.

—I need them, the sun is so bright right now— Armie said, knowing that wasn't entirely truth.

—With those sunglasses you are missing the sunset. It is beautiful— Timmy said with a dreamy feeling and the wind hitting his face.

 

—It is indeed — Armie answered as he removed his sunglasses. 

_ Beautiful blue eyes… so beautiful. _

— I used to run in central park at this time, and enjoyed the show everyday— Armie said.

—How is your kid?— Timmy asked out of the blue, as if he suddenly remembered that Armie was more than his bodyguard— Raising a kid shouldn’t be easy.

—Yeah it’s not, but it pays at the end. 

—There is always a parent that is more permissive that the other, I bet you are that one. 

—Well sometimes I need to be strict, but yeah it’s true, I’m kind of the good cop.

Timmy smiled. It was weird imagining Armie as a parent. 

—I bet you are a really good father.

—I try to. I do my best. 

_ I’m sure you are the best father.  _ Timmy was thinking. Their eyes met, and a sweet smile shone in Timmy’s face. Armie was a parent, he was a husband, and yet for Timmy, he was something else that he couldn’t quite figure out yet. Armie pulled over.

—Come on!— He said— Let’s look at this beautiful sunset, he have time before your next appointment.

—Alright— Timmy said, they both went out of they car and stared at the colors of the sky, 

—Wow— Timmy was overtaken by the purple flashes. Armie looked at him, because he wasn’t there entirely to see the sunset. The real show for him was Timmy’s face, so expressive, so warm, and full of peace.

—You should see the look in your eyes right now!— Armie said. Timmy smiled with a soothing feeling.

When it was over they were both smiling.

—Let’s go, I don’t want you to be late— Armie said. They went back to the car and then

Timmy got a phone call. It was Nick, Timmy was upset.

 

—Hey… listen, I’m busy right now, but you have been calling and I want to get over this as soon as possible so, please stop calling me… stop… you are not listening to me… I don’t care… no, I don’t want to listen to you… I’m going to hang up then… Listen to this, we are done, don’t call me ever again. That was all I wanted to say to you so bye. And I'm going to block your number now.

Timmy hung up. Armie felt glad it was over.

 

Armie started to learn things about Timmy in their everyday interaction, he knew before they went to any location the first stop was always to get coffee. Timmy usually drank cappuccino except the days he didn't sleep well, those days he had an espresso, and he was a bit grumpy. Armie also learn that when Timmy was hungry his mood was immediately affected. If he ate right away things weren't terrible, but the longer Timmy had to wait to eat, the moodier he would get. It could be very scary if it wasn't taken care of. So Armie always did his best to prevent any situation. If Timmy was in the middle of something and it seemed to be going for longer, he ordered some food so that when Timmy was finally free he could just grab a snack. There were so many little things about Timmy that he was starting to love. Timmy loved sunsets. Every time they were in the car and they got to see one, Timmy got quiet and thoughtful. Armie loved that about him.

 

Armie was driving Timmy to a party one night. Timmy was wearing leather pants, the minute Armie noticed his outfit he knew it was going to be a difficult night for him. Whenever Armie look at him he got a bit tense. He didn't want Timmy to see how undeniably attracted Armie was for him.

—So, are you going to meet your friends here? I’m asking because of security reasons, you know.

—Yes of course, They are going to be there. 

—What about Nick, is he going to be there too?

—I don’t think so, but… maybe.

—Then maybe I should be around, you know, just in case. 

Timmy liked to feel protected like that by Armie. But every time he had this feeling, he had to remind himself that Armie was just doing his job.

—It’s ok, I’ll be fine

—If you need me…

—I promise I'll let you know.

The party started out well for Timmy, all his friends were there. He got along with them but for a minute he wished Armie would be there talking to him. Timmy smiled when his friend Saoirse arrived.

  
  


—Timmy!!!! You are here!!! I’m so happy to see you.

She hugged him fondly.

—You need to tell me what happened with Nick. I mean, personally I didn’t like the guy.

—You didn’t?

—Well to be honest... no. I was going to talk to you about him. There were rumors.

—What kind of rumors?

—That Nick was seeing other people, you know, as you were together.

—What?

—I don’t know really,  it’s just something I heard, I don't know much, that's why I didn't say anything before. but even if he wasn’t, I still didn't like him.

—Why didn't you say anything about it?

—I didn't want you to hate me, or anything, also you seemed to be in love with him. 

—Well now he's gone for good, so let's just forget about him.

They both agree to enjoy they night. They were really enjoying themselves, both dancing and drinking.  They were having a great time. Armie was looking at them from a distance, not so close that he could hear their conversation, but not so far that he couldn't reach them in case he was needed. Timmy was dancing,  Armie couldn't take his eyes from him. The way he moved was something else. Timmy noticed Armie's gaze on him, so he was dancing extra sexy… for him. Saoirse smiled widely, she could see right through them.

—Having a good time?—She asked.

—Yeah— Timmy answered.

—i can see that. You should ask him out.

—I can't do that, he's my bodyguard. My married bodyguard remember?

His face turned a little sad. Saoirse kissed his cheek. 

Nick showed up all of a sudden and things got a bit tense. He was with a boy, he was very slim and handsome. They were making out if front of everybody. He made sure that Timmy had a clear angle to see the scene.

—This is just pathetic. Why don’t we just leave? he just wants attention— Saoirse said— he just want you to notice him.

—Yeah you are right. Let just go.

As they were walking out Nick approached them. 

—Leaving so early?— He asked Timmy

—Go back to your boy and leave us alone please.

—So you think you can dump me just like that?— Nick was drunk for a change.

—Please just go, people are watching, I don't  want to make a scene— As Timmy tried to keep walking Nick grabbed his arm, and that was all it took for Armie to come out of nowhere all of a sudden and pushed Nick away.

—Hands to yourself— He said with a severe tone. Nick’s first reaction was to fight Armie, but then he stopped. he knew that it would have been pretty stupid, Armie would have love to have an excuse to kick his ass and Nick knew it, so he just stepped aside as Timothée walked out.

—Are you ok?— Armie asked him.

—Yes, I am. Thanks to you— and Timmy gave him the sweetest smile.

—I was just doing my job— Armie said, and  Timmy felt how his heart cracked just a bit. Armie was just doing strictly his job. But then Armie smiled friendly back at him, and Timmy got a warm feeling in his heart.  _ Perhaps he wasn’t just doing his work _ . 

Armie drove Tim and Saoirse to her place, they weren’t ready to call it a night. When they got there, Saoirse and Tim were both trying so hard to convince Armie to go with them.

—Sorry, I can’t. 

—Oh come on, keep on working in her home. It’s not a safe place in there— Timmy said.

—Maybe Nick could even come back— Saoirse said. They practically dragged him out of the car. Once they were inside the house  Saoirse fixed them all drinks. Armie included. 

—I cannot drink. I’m working— Armie said. 

—Come on, I am your boss, and I say you should drink.

—I’m sorry but I won’t do it even if you fire me. I’m that professional— Armie smiled as he said that.

Saoirse and Timmy started dancing, they were really enjoying themselves. And Armie couldn't help but to stare hungrily at Timmy.

_ They way he's dancing… so unabashed. He is so sexy. Fuck.  _

—You are drunk— Saoirse said— But I'm not that drunk myself, and let me tell you something… The way Armie is looking at you right now… it's something else.

—What?

—Yeah, don't pretend you haven't noticed, he wants to eat you all.

—No way!

—Timmy he so thirsty right now.

—Saoirse, he's married.

—I’m just stating a fact. I'm not saying you should fuck him or anything. 

Timmy looked at him briefly. Armie looked away hesitantly. 

_ It was true, Armie was looking at me. _

 

They kept on drinking. Timmy knew he had already drunk too much, he also knew Armie was staring at him. Timmy was really enjoying it. He was dancing for him, he felt so sexy  knowing Armie was attentive to all his moves. He dared to look at him once or twice and he flirted openly giving Armie the most suggestive gaze.

_ Shit that boy! _ Armie kept repeating to himself. His heart was beating so hard.

—That's it. I'm going to bed, enjoy the evening— Saoirse said kissing Timmy's cheek, and looking towards Armie discreetly. 

—What?— Timmy was too drunk he didn't even understand what she was implying.

—You know where the guest room is. Unfortunately there is only one bed. I guess you'll have to share it— she said smiling. Soon Timmy and Armie were left alone. 

—Alright should I take you home now?—Armie asked.

—Saoirse said we could stay— and Timmy suddenly seemed to remember some important information about Armie—But I understand… you have to go... home of course…

—If you want me to take you home I don't mind. Or if you want to stay here it’s also fine. I can pick you up in the morning.

—Of course 

—I can help you get to the bedroom if you want me to—Armie put Timmy's arm around his neck and help him walk.

—I’m not that drunk mister— Timmy said but didn't protest any further. He couldn't help it but to react to the proximity of their bodies. Armie was so muscular, and he smelled so good. 

—Of course you are. I bet you won't remember this in the morning.

—What? So you think that I won't remember any of this? 

—Yeah, I don't think you will.

—So… if I…let’s say... kiss you, you think I won't remember that?

Armie looked into Timmy's beautiful eyes.

—Timmy… don't say that— He was almost begging.

—Why not? It's really just a hypothetical situation, unless… of course… you want it to be different.

Armie was taken aback.

—Timmy...— he managed to say just that, but there was so much more that he wanted to say. 

_ Please don't say that. Can't you see that I'm craving for your lips already. Can you see I've been  wanting to Kiss you for so long now. _

Armie helped Timmy to get to the bedroom. Gently he removed his shoes and put him to bed. He knew he didn't have to do it, but he wanted to do it.

—Sweet dreams, he said— there was something irresistible about those lovely drunken eyes that Armie just stared. 

—Wait— Timmy wasn't ready to let go, not just yet. He leaned closer to him and smiled. He wanted… He needed a kiss, a soft, delicate kiss, just the taste of Armie's mouth one more time, just a simple reminder of that pleasant  feeling he had experienced two years ago.

_ No, no, please don't. _ Armie wanted to beg, because he knew nothing had really changed from that night two years ago. He was still afraid of his feelings,  because everything within himself was responding to they boy's closeness, his body was craving, but his soul was craving too. He wasn't ready, he could never be, and yet he needed that kiss so badly, almost as he needed air to live. He needed to kiss him. His body was burning in anticipation. and he knew he was weak, so weak, he couldn't possibly resist those lips. He knew If he kissed the boy he wasn't going to be able to stop, there was no turning point. 

 

Timmy knew what he wanted and went for it, Armie faced  his fate almost tragically. Their lips met with an electrifying touch, a sweet caress that grew intensively, subtle and gentle at first. Armie melted, he almost felt himself disappearing in that sweet kiss. And everything around him became so unimportant. It was all Armie had possibly wanted from a kiss, sweet and tender in incredible ways, but also intense. Timmy was beautiful, more than beautiful, he was glowing. Armie was so ready to finally let himself go, he wanted, he needed to surrender to Timmy, to reveal everything he had been containing in his chest for so long. That was what he was, his true self coming to the surface unabashed. He wanted Timmy so much.  Armie was mesmerized by all that was going on. Nothing could have prevented him from they shock of his own admission. He craved for him. Unfortunately It ended too soon. Armie noticed Timmy's eyes closing. Armie smiled sweetly. He was both disappointed and relieved. He put Timmy to bed and tucked him in the blankets, and slowly walked out the room. He felt so many things at once. He could still feel the boy's lips on his, so delicate and incredibly warm.   _Thanks god he fell asleep._ He kept saying. _Or I wouldn't have been able to stop._ He kept repeating. He was also feeling so alive. _Timmy, Timmy._ He had his name on his lips as the only word he could pronounce ever again. _Beautiful Timmy, Timmy, Timmy_. And it was all he wanted to say as if by saying his name he would get closer to him somehow, almost as if he could touch him with the words. Timmy was sleeping peacefully, and that was the softest vision he would treasure for long.

 

He stayed on the couch that night, he didn't want to be far from him. Not after that kiss, so intimate. He wanted to be there when Timmy woke up the following day, he just wanted to see him.  Armie knew it was only a kiss, it meant nothing, but for him it was everything.  _ How silly am I?  _ He was thinking, with a thousand feelings revolving in his chest. And he couldn't possibly ask for more, just being there, knowing Timmy was sleeping upstairs made him feel glad, and it was so unusual, that he could find joy in such a simple fact. And he was surprised to have such strong feelings caused by one kiss. And he felt like a teenager, but he was a grown man, he was the father of a kid, and yet there he was head over hills for a boy, incapable of thinking clearly, totally overtaken by a simple kiss. 

  
  


Armie knew Timmy was way out of his league, but it was fine, he thought he had the best fucking job ever. He got to see Timmy everyday, talk to him about a wide range of topics, take him places, enjoy his photoshoots  and take care of him, make sure he was fine at all times, and he even get to see the sunset with him once in a while. He couldn't possibly ask for more, he would settle for that just fine. And yet he had the chance to kiss his lips once more. And he even got to see him sleeping peacefully, life was good, and he was a very lucky man.

 


	8. Chapter 8

The following morning Timmy woke up when saoirse walked noisily into the room.

—You little slot— She said with a smirk— Did something happened between you two?

Timmy seemed a little confused.

—What are you talking abou?

—Stop pretending Timothée. I’m talking about Armie.

—Armie? He’s here? I thought he had left.

—Well he didn’t leave. I wonder why?—She said suspiciously.

—Nothing happened. He just helped me to get to the room.

—Oh yeah? Did he carry you, with those big muscular arms?

Saoirse bursted out laughing.

—I’m telling you, nothing happened.

—Yeah, right. Well, then  let me inform you that he's sleeping on the couch.

—He is?

—And he looks adorable by the way.

Timmy got up right away. He was curious enough, so he went with Saoirse slowly downstairs to take a look at him. Armie was there, peacefully sleeping,  his paused breathing was soothing. Saoirse was right, he was so beautiful, watching him sleeping was like a vision. _He must be having a nice dream_. Timmy thought, his face was so relaxed and  Timmy could almost swear he saw a smile on his face. It was something else to see Armie like that, so sweet, vulnerable and warm. Timmy almost wanted to snuggle with him. As Timmy saw him pleasantly sleeping like that the memory of the kiss flooded his senses. Saoirse was attentive looking at Timmy’s reaction as if she could tell there was so much more going on. They had kissed. He remembered and smiled pleasantly. It was a wonderful kiss. Armie started moving slowly, as if he could feel Timmy’s presence in the room. He opened his eyes slowly, but as soon as he noticed they were looking at him attentively, he got up immediately.

—Hey you guys are up? Sorry I was just...

—You were sleeping of course— Timmy smiled, he couldn’t hide that he was happy to see Armie.

—I thought you had left— Timmy said.

—It was late anyway… more precisely it was early, so I thought there was no point in leaving— Armie said rubbing his eyes.

—Sorry I hope I didn't cause you any problem, at home— Timmy said

—You didn't, no problem at all— Armie replied. Saoirse found Armie’s answer a little odd.

—You mean your wife didn't freak out you didn't go home?—she asked in disbelief.

—My wife? —Armie seemed confused.

—Yeah, your wife— Saoirse said, there was an awkward silence, Armie focused his attention on Timmy and suddenly things fell into place.

—You think I am married?—Armie asked Timmy, he just nodded.

—I’m divorced— Armie was puzzled.

—I thought you guys knew— Saoirse couldn’t hide how surprised she was.

—Oh…you are divorced!  We didn't know that, did we?— She said looking at Timmy with a huge smile on her face.

—No, we didn’t know that— Timmy was taken aback by the news, but at the same time he wanted to strangle her, she was making it too evident that she was thrilled.

—We are sorry to hear that— He said, giving Saoirse a dirty look.

—Of course we are— She said hiding her smile.

— I thought the agency had told you that— Armie said.

—No they didn’t. Anyway, You can take the day off. I cleared my agenda for the day. I cannot do anything today, I need to rest— Timmy said.

—Of course you do,  thanks, I'll leave after I drive you home if that's ok with you.

Timmy nodded. He couldn't help to  feel safe and taken care when Armie was around, he knew it was his job to make him feel like that, but he liked to think, there were other reasons for him to act like that, and maybe  specially after that kiss.

On the way home Timmy was sleeping in the back seat. Armie was looking at him through the rearview mirror. He was so peaceful, he truly looked like an angel. Armie couldn’t help looking at him. By the time they arrived home Armie knew he was so fucked up. Whatever it was he was feeling, it was huge, and It was growing by the second. Every time he saw Tim sleeping like that he had the urge to hold him, and kiss him, protect him. He was so beautiful. Armie knew he had to be around him, he didn't want to leave his side one minute. _I’m so fucked up._

 

Once the car was parked Timmy woke up and noticed Armie was staring at him. It wasn’t his usual gaze, Timmy knew Armie was looking at him differently somehow, with a certain spark in his eyes he hadn’t seen before. He smiled at him.

—We are home— Armie said nervously. He felt a little helpless.

—Yeah… Thank you… For everything…

—My pleasure— he said.

—No tucking me into bed today?— Timmy asked blushing.

Armie bit his lip and smiled. His heart was beating so fast.

—I’m sorry, I shouldn't have done that… I hope I didn't make you uncomfortable. I didn't know what else to do… I'm sorry.

—Don’t apologize, actually I liked it— Timmy blushed a bit more.

_Boy… He looks adorable._ Armie thought.

—So... you... remember?— Armie asked.

—I told you I would.

Armie's heart skipped a beat. There it was, that overwhelming feeling again growing wildly.

—Have some rest— Armie said smiling. Timmy went out of the car.

—You too— he said. Timmy gave Armie the sweetest smile. Armie was melting. As Timmy walked into the house Armie felt like a teenager. He had butterflies in his stomach.

_What the hell is going on? Why am I having these feelings?_ Timmy was gone but Armie was unable to move, as if a part of him wanted nothing more that to go after Timmy. _Timmy...Timmy… Timmy. W_ hat he was feeling was something intense, and pure, and beautiful and he couldn’t fight it, so he just let it be. _I’m so fucked up… I’m so fucked up._

 

Timmy dreamt with the kiss that night. He felt Armie’s amazing mouth on his, as he did that at Saoirse apartment, just that in his dream, the kiss didn’t end, it went on and on forever, as if time had disappeared. Timmy woke up with a smile on his face. _He isn’t married, he isn’t married._  He was allowed to dream with him like that. It was fine. The sun was bright outside, and Timmy’s chest was about to explode in a thousand particles.

 

That morning Armie realized he was looking forward seeing Timmy. When Timmy walked down the stairs Armie was already waiting for him expectantly in the living room. Armie caught himself feeling nervous. _This is ridiculous. He thoug_ , but he couldn’t help to smile when he saw him. _I'm acting like a kid. This is stupid._

 

But it was as if all his rationality ended the moment Timmy walked in a room. Timmy was also acting a bit different around Armie that morning. He  touched his hair more frequently, and smiled a lot more. All those little things weren't unnoticed to Luca, who was there witnessing the peculiar scene. He couldn't help it but to smile. They were kind of cute.

—So how is your wife Armie?— Luca asked him, for no other reason that he thought someone had to ask the question.

—Sorry?— It was Armie’s immediate response. _Why does everybody want to know about my wife all of a sudden?_

—You are married right? You also have a kid?

—Divorced actually. I thought you knew, Timmy also didn't know. My ex wife is fine and also is my boy. He's turning 3 in  5 months.

—Oh ok— Luca looked in Timmy’s direction, Timmy looked away, but he couldn’t hide a shy  smile.

—I’m ready to go— Timmy said looking at Armie.

—I’ll get the car ready— Armie said and left the room.

—I see you are starting to like photoshoots, you seem to be enjoying yourself lately— Luca said.

—What are you saying? I've always enjoyed photoshoots.

—Specially when there is a certain someone in the room— Luca said.

Timmy didn't know what to answer. _So the photographer couldn’t keep his mouth shut, apparently_. Luca knew Timmy too well. He could read him as a book. So Timmy couldn't really hide things from him. Timmy blushed.

—I poheard you broke up with Nick— Luca said, so he was drawing conclusions.

—Yeah, I did. It wasn't working for me.

—I'm glad. You know I didn't like him.

  


At noon Armie was driving Timmy to a meeting with some producers. They were going to discuss a movie. Timmy was enjoying the ride when  his phone rang, it was Luca. There was a problem.

—The meeting has been cancelled— Timmy said a little discouraged by the change of plans.

—Oh, sorry to hear that. Where should I go then? Should I take you home?— Armie asked.

—I’m hungry. Would you have lunch with me?— Timmy asked. Armie smiled

—Really? Do you want me to… go with you?

—Yeah sure… I mean if you want to.

—Yeah…  I want to.

—Then let’s go, do you like Italian?

—Sure.

Armie got nervous all of a sudden. _Are we going to have a date?_ His palms were sweating by just the thought of it.

_I'm a professional, I'm a professional._ Armie kept repeating to himself, knowing too well he was walking on thin ice. He wanted to go with him, of course, he wanted so much to go with him. He could never refuse an invitation like that.

They went to a nice and quiet Italian restaurant. Timmy liked that place too much. The food was decent and there was privacy. It was something Timmy appreciated more than anything.

—The pasta is excellent here— Timmy said.

—I’ll try it then.

There was a sharp tension between them.

—You really haven't changed at all, you are the same guy I met two years ago— Armie said.

—Is that a good thing?

—It’s a great thing actually, it’s the best thing ever— Armie said. There was something in the way Armie looked away when he said that, a glimpse of vulnerability was evident in his admission. _Yes Timmy, I’m crazy for you._

—You haven’t changed that much yourself— Timmy said.

—You think so? sometimes I feel like a really different man.

—Maybe you are different, but I think your essence is the same, what makes you such a kind and caring person— Armie laugh awkwardly.

—I think you just like me.

—You got me there, I do, I do like you.

_Is this a dream? Am I dreaming about him again? Could this possibly be true, Timmy smiling at me with such fondness?_

Lunch went by really well for them. They had a great time together, as usual, they were getting used to enjoying themselves in each other’s company. They talked and talked about many things. It was true,  the longer they stayed together it became more evident that between them there was an unusual familiarity flourishing.

The check arrived. Armie took it before Timmy could reach it.

—What are you doing? I'm paying— Timmy said.

—No please, let me take care of it.

—It was my idea to come here. So no.

—Please, really, let me pay for it.

—You’ll pay next time, alright?

The promise of a next time was so tempting, that Armie let go of it immediately.  

—Are we really going to do this again or is it just a trick to get the check?

—Well I’d like that. Would you like to have lunch with me some other time?— Timmy asked him.

—I’d love to.

Armie wanted so much to kiss him… again, to feel his sweet lips,  he had to fight his instincts. _They cancelled a meeting, this was not a date. This was Timmy being nice, I'm a professional._

They walked out the restaurant.  They were walking towards the car, they were so close to each other,  maybe it was a subconscious impulse that drew them together, closer and closer with every step, and perhaps it was that same thing that caused Timmy to trip, he would have fallen to the ground, if Armie hadn’t gotten him.

—Woah, that was close— Armie said holding Timmy in his arms. Timmy got back on his feet, but  Armie was totally resisting  letting go of him, overtaken by the closeness of his body. He could feel his heart beating.  

—It was… Thank you— And as Timmy lifted his head to look at him, he felt an electrifying sensation going down his spine, he just wanted Armie to hold him like that forever. Eventually Armie did let him go, but it almost hurt him to do so.

 

—This was a really good day— Timmy said when they were back in the car.

—Was it because of the restaurant? I bet it’s your favorite.

—It’s true, it’s my favorite. But there is more.

Timmy’s cheeks were burning. He wanted to say more, he was dying to say so much more.

—What was it then?

Armie was almost afraid to ask, because he suspected the answer, and he couldn't possibly know what to do with that answer.

—It was the company, mainly— Timmy said.

Armie looked at him. He didn’t want to hide anymore, he couldn't.

—Timmy— he said, but then the traffic light turned green and he had to drive. There were so many things happening in his heart. He wished we could just pull over, get out of the car and hold Timmy in his arms.

—What are you thinking?— Timmy asked.

—I’m thinking so many things right now Timmy. I also enjoyed lunch, so much actually.

—Are you thinking about me then?

—You are all I can think of right now.

Armie parked the car in front of the house.

 

_—_ See you tomorrow Timmy— Armie said as he opened the door for him.

—See you tomorrow Armie— Timmy leaned a bit and kissed Armie’s cheek.

  


Timmy felt happy, he hadn’t felt like that in a long time. _Armie must be the best at his job_. Timmy thought. He felt so safe around him.  

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your comments. I love them so much.


	9. Chapter 9

_ Another night, another whisper that my ear couldn't quite decipher, and another second that you are not with me, another word that I don't get to say, that you don't get to hear,  and it drys up in my lips. And the one thing that I do have, what is it really? Is it the fragility of your touch? So subtle that I almost can't feel it. Or is it your beauty? Perhaps the only tangible thing that I own right now, but I cannot even take it with me. Sometimes I wish I could wake up all of a sudden, and then maybe I could take it all with me. But I know I won't. I wouldn't. I miss you. That is it, that's what it's real for me, your absence. You are not here. It's a dream, and then, who are you anyway? _

  
  
  


The following morning Armie was having breakfast in the kitchen, he was chatting with Liza as usual when Timmy walked in.

—Morning— He said smiling.

Armie jumped off his seat when he saw him.

—Good morning, sorry, are we late?— he said looking at his watch and getting up from the table.

—No, no, relax, we are not late at all, sorry, I just thought I could join you for breakfast— Timmy blushing a bit. 

Liza served him pancakes, she set his plate next to Armie's. She knew from that moment on she would serve them breakfast together. She smiled. 

—Did you sleep well?— Armie asked him.

—I did. Thanks. 

—You look good this morning… I mean... you always look good, of course— Armie said.  _ Fuck could I be more obvious? _

—Thanks— Timmy said.

It was funny for Timmy how Armie said things sometimes. He gave compliments to him, almost spontaneously, but as soon as he had said them he looked mortified, as if he had done something bad, and he needed to take it back. Timmy was amused by it. 

—Sorry I shouldn't have said that— he didn't fail to say.

—It’s ok to say things  like those sometimes, I mean, if you feel like saying them, you can, I kind of like it.

—You do? I wouldn't want to make you uncomfortable. 

—Its alright, You don't.

 

And it was as if this short but meaningful interactions between them brought them closer and closer. 

 

—That is way too much honey on your pancakes— Armie said contemplating Timmy's plate.

—What are you talking about? There is never too much honey on pancakes. Timmy assured.  There were so many things that Armie loved about Timmy. He was learning little by little that that he was such a tender and kind person with a very sweet tooth. Armie enjoyed spending time with him when he was like that, so relaxed, in his element. 

 

Armie took a bite of Timmy's pancake with his fork.

—Wow! That is all the sugar you are having today young man!

—What?— Timmy asked, he didn't hesitate to put his fork into Armie's plate.

—Yours are boring!— Timmy said as he ate, he laughed  loudly.

—You are out of your mind! It's the sugar who is talking. You are a sugar addict now. I have to stop you.

Armie tried to take away Timmy's plate, but he was holding it, so Armie started to tickle him. 

—Stop, stop!

—Give me the pancakes, let them go!

—If you make a mess in my kitchen you will clean it up!— Lizza said as a reprimand. 

Both of them went back to their seats. Timmy couldn't hide the brightest smile.

  
  


In the afternoon Timmy had an interview, it wasn't the typical boring interview. This one took place in a park. Just that simple thing made a huge difference for Timmy, and Armie could tell, he was enjoying it. The girl who was asking the questions seemed very intelligent and easygoing. Things were flowing really nicely, and Timmy was being his own charismatic self. Perhaps it was the place, or the girl, but Timmy found himself in a really good mood, maybe it was because Armie was watching closely, and he always liked when Armie was near. It made him feel  safe, and taken care of. He had just realized that Armie was becoming his rock. The interview finished.

 

—Should we go back?— Armie asked.

—Not just yet, let's wait.

_ The sunset, of course—  _ Armie thought. He knew how much Timmy enjoyed watching the sunset. Timmy looked  beautiful as usual, but that day there was something particular in his eyes.

—You look beautiful— Armie said—I mean... you always do but… today, you are stunning.

Timmy smiled.

—Sorry, I shouldn't have… oh shit. I'm doing it again, right? Armie said. 

Timmy laughed. He liked him so much.

—Thank you for saying that, and regretting it immediately. Now I know that's how you complement.

—I didn't regret it. I just… sometimes I forget I shouldn't said things like those.

The sun was hiding behind the horizon, leaving a bright trail, different shades of pink and purple in the sky.

—Maybe it’s the reflection of the sunset in your eyes. 

—Maybe… maybe  it's just you, who decided to see something beautiful in me— Timmy said.

—Beauty is in the eye of the beholder you mean? But every person with eyes can see how beautiful you are— Armie told him. Timmy kept his smile for as long as they sunset lasted.

—Maybe you are just projecting your inner beauty into me, when you see me.

—Or maybe you are just the most beautiful person I know— Armie said. 

After some minutes the sun was completely gone, both kept silence, enjoying it.

—It was amazing.

—it was.

—Would you do this again with me, some other time? Would you watch the sunset with me?

—Of course.

_ I would do it every day of my life _ . Armie wanted to say.

He was happy. 

—Take me home Armie.

_ And stay with me perhaps _ . Timmy wanted so much to say but didn't. Because maybe it wasn't the right moment to say so, because he didn't want to push Armie away, and maybe because  he could settle with Armie's friendship as long as he had him in his life. There was a silent communication between them. Every gaze expressed something unique. They were fine, they were good in each other's company. No words were needed, things were alright as long as they were together contemplating the sunset, just like that.

  
  


The following day Timmy was being photographed for a magazine. It was an outdoor photoshoot, and Armie was enjoying it as usual. The photographer was a nice guy, Timmy had met him from  previous photoshoots, Timmy liked working with him, he always found the right angle, the right expression in Timmy's eyes, the right timing. That morning he wanted to get a picture of Timmy jumping from a chair.

—I’m not sure. I'm clumsy, I'm afraid I could fall— Timmy was objecting.

—Don’t worry you won't— the photographer said as convincingly as he could. As usual Armie was watching from an acceptable distance. No too close to intervene, but not too far to miss the best angles. Timmy decided to give it a try. He jumped from the chair but as soon as he did it, he felt the surface of  the chair wasn’t as stable as he had anticipated, so Timmy fell down hurting his ankle really badly. 

—Armie!— Timmy scream. Armie ran to him.

—Oh my god! Are you hurt?

—Shit, I think so. It hurts really bad.

—The paramedics will be here any moment— The photographed said looking terribly mortified.

—Oh shit! Don't worry you will be fine— Armie said full of concern.

When the paramedics arrived they said they needed to take Tim to the hospital. Timmy got visibly stressed about it. He hated hospitals so much, he avoided them at all cost.

—Is it really necessary that I go?— Timmy asked.

—Absolutely, we need some x-rays to see what happened. You could need surgery. 

—Don’t worry, it'll be fine— Armie tried to sound confident.

—Would you go with me?— Timmy asked him

—Of course, if you want me to?

—I want you to.

—Then of course.

—Would you ride with me in the ambulance?

—I will follow you in the car.

—No please, go with me.

—We can get somebody to drive the car— The photographer said.

 

Armie was really worried in the ambulance but tried not to show it.

—It’s ok. Don't worry. I already told Luca. He is on his way to the hospital— he said as he held Timmy’s hand.

—Thanks, but even if Luca is there… could you… stay with me? I just don't like hospitals.

—Of course I'll be there, don't worry.

—I hate hospitales really bad,  just thinking about going is giving me anxiety already.

—Don’t worry I won't leave your side— Armie could see the stress in Timmy's eyes. And he wanted so much to make it better for him.

—I’m sorry— he whispered to him. Timmy smiled.

—it wasn't your fault.

—I shouldn't have let you do that, it was risky. I'm sorry you are in pain.

 

Once in the hospital a nurse gave Armie some documents he needed to fill in.

—Help him to undress and put this robe on. I will be back in a minute— She didn't even ask who he was, It was very obvious that they were close.

 

The request seemed like the most simple thing when the nurse had said it. However Armie felt his heart beating faster. He was ashamed for it.  _ Timmy is in pain, I have to concentrate on helping him. _ So he pretended he was ok with that request but deep inside he was doing his best to keep it together. 

 

Many emotions were going through Timmy's heart. He was worried about his injury, he was terrified to be there, in a hospital, and as if all those feelings weren't enough he also  froze with the possibility of Armie helping him to undress. Tension grew in the air as Timmy started unbuttoned his jeans.

—Are you ok with me helping you? Maybe I can call the nurse if you are not. 

—I’m ok.

—Then maybe you can lift your body a bit as I try to pull down your jeans.

—Yeah, thanks, that could work, sure.

They were both visibly nervous. As Timmy did so, Armie pulled the jeans down carefully. The image of Timmy’s pale skin, glowing beautifly caught him by surprise. Armie wasn't prepared to see Timmy's skin exposed like that. Timmy blushed, he knew very well the effect he was having on Armie. He tried so hard not to touch Timmy’s skin, he knew he couldn’t handle if it happened.

—Do you want me to help you with the tee shirt?

—It’s ok, I got it.

As Timmy was taking it off and his face was covered with the fabric for a second it felt safe for Armie to look at the slim bare torso, he admired him fully, but he was reckless and Timmy caught him staring at him. Armie looked away embarrassed.  Timmy smiled.  _ He was looking at me. _ Timmy experienced some sort of comfort despite the circumstances. Armie helped him to put on the robe. The nurse came back.

—Please remove your underwear too—She said and left the room again.

_ Fuck, not the underwear.  _ Armie was nervous.

—It’s ok, I can do it by myself.

—Don’t be silly. I can help you, no problem, let’s do it as we did with your jeans— Armie said pretending to be unaffected. Timmy had the robe on, so he wasn’t going to be exposed or anything. Armie felt relieved. But as he was helping Timmy pulling down his underwear, the contact with his skin was unavoidable. as he touch the porcelain skin of the boy he felt electricity running through his body. Armie was trembling. 

—Armie... — Timmy mumbled as he noticed Armie's nervousness. Their eyes met  naturally, as if attracted by an invisible force. Armie couldn't hide anymore, not from Timmy's gaze, not from himself. He was so in love, he knew it right away.

—I’m sorry, I'm not doing this right— He said embarrassed.

—You are doing it fine— Timmy said putting his hand on Armie's shoulder. 

Armie knew Timmy was in pain, he wanted so bad to change that. As far as he was concerned Timmy should never be in pain. contrivance in his chest.  _ Timmy, beautiful Timmy, his lips so blushed, his gaze so sweet. I can’t, I can’t let go of myself now.  _ Armie barely held his gaze. He knew if he stared any longer he would surrender completely to those green, expressive eyes. The nurse walked in the room again.

—I see you are ready. Now I need to take you to the x-ray room.

Armie walked with them but he stayed outside, he wasn’t allowed in the room. As he was waiting outside, there was a struggle in his heart.

_ I need to put myself together, I need to get hold of myself for once. I'm all over the place. _

 

After some time Luca arrived to the hospital, Armie was giving him all the information when Timmy was brought back to the room. 

—That photographer is going to get a piece of my mind.

—It wasn't his fault, really, he just wanted to get a great picture. It was all me. I wasn't careful enough when I jumped.

Then the doctor entered the room room with the x-rays in his hands.

—I have good news and bad news— He said— The good news, you don’t need surgery. Bad news, I need to put things back in the right place. It’s going to hurt a bit, but not terribly. The nurse will give you some painkillers and they will help. 

Timmy was clearly anxious about it. 

—Don’t worry, it’s going to be quick— Armie said trying to calm him down. When the moment came the doctor asked Armie and Luca to wait outside. Timmy's face changed the minute he heard the doctor's request.

—What? Can Armie stay?—Timmy blurt out. Luca smiled, he wasn't even surprised to hear that.

—Ok, he can stay— the doctor said. Armie went next to Timmy immediately.

—Please hold my hand— he mumbled. With a quick movement  the doctor aligned his foot. Timmy couldn't help a tear falling from his eye. Armie's stomach clenched.

—Now we'll have to immobilize it— The doctor said.

 

—Are you ok?— Armie asked as soon as they doctor and they nurse left the room.

—I’m fine. 

—i’m so sorry you are in pain.

—It’s not that bad.

—The doctor said you can leave in about an hour— It was already dark outside.

—I’m sorry. I kept you here all day. You must be tired.

—No, don't worry. I'm fine. 

—You can go home now. I'll manage.

—what? No way! I'll take you home. I could spend the night if you need me.

—No I couldn't ask you to do that. You need to rest.

—It’s not a problem. I could stay in the guest room, just in case you are in pain or need something.

—Maybe I should hire a nurse.

—You don't have to, I could help, but of course I understand if you don't feel comfortable. Of course you’d rather be with someone who knows what he's doing.

—No, that's not it. I just wouldn't like to take advantage of you.

—You are not. Actually I'll be less worried if I'm there with you. But of course feel free to make your decision, whatever works best for you— Armie wanted to be with Timmy, he couldn't understand his own feelings but he knew he wanted so much to take care of him.

—In that case I would appreciate it very much if you could stay with me.

Armie smiled. It made him happy that Timmy wanted to have him around.

_ What is going on with me? I feel really comfortable around Timmy. But there is more, so much more. I actually need to be with him. I need... him. Shit. This is crazy. There are so many things that I have to think about. For instance I shouldn't forget he is my boss. I'm here to protect him, that is my job. Shit, it really makes me so happy, to be here for him.   _ And it was almost as an instinct that took over Armie that day.

 

Armie took Timmy home. Luca could see right through them, but he didn't dare to say a thing. He was actually happy. Armie, seemed like a good guy, and he was taking good care of Timmy. He could tell he truly cared for him. Timmy needed someone like that near him. Luca never liked the ex boyfriend. He even gave Timmy his opinion about him more than once but he couldn't really persuaded him. So he was more than relieved when he was gone. 

 

—Don’t worry, I'll take good care of him.

—I know you will— Luca said as he walked away.

 


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry I didn't update for a while. I hope you enjoy this one. Thank you for reading.

 

Armie helped  Timmy to get into bed. Armie handled it better this time. At least his hands weren't trembling any more as they did in the hospital.

 

—The doctor said you shouldn’t be in  a lot of pain. But if you are, I can give him a call.

—I’m okay. I don't have any pain actually.

—You look tired. You should sleep now. Do you want me to get you something to eat?

—I’m not really hungry.

—But you haven't eaten. Let me bring you something. I'm sure there is something in the fridge.

—Alright. But bring something for you as well. You haven't eaten either.

—Alright. I'm sure Liza  cooked something delicious.

 

They ate together, in the bedroom. Timmy insisted Armie sat next to him.

—This lasagna is delicious. Liza  is great. You don't deserve her.

They both laughed.

—She is amazing, the world doesn't deserve her.

—I was really worried today, when I saw what happened to you.

—Yeah I saw your face. I bet you thought my foot was broken.

—I was afraid it was. You have such a busy schedule, a broken foot would make things complicated, and Luca would have killed me.

—Fortunately it wasn't broken. Still I'll have to cancel some things for two weeks. I can tell Luca isn't happy about it.

—Nonsense, he cares a lot about you. he knows your health comes first.

—He does, he was worried.

—And also I think it's a good thing you have a couple of weeks for yourself. You need to rest. You are always so busy.

—I like it that way actually.

—You like to be busy all the time? How come?

—I don't know. That way I don't have time to think about stupid things.

—What stupid things?

—I don't know. Things that come to my mind. That I'm not  good enough as an actor. Things like those, overthinking, mainly

—You are right, they are stupid things. You are a great actor. What else?

—Stupid things, really, unimportant.

—Tell me.

—No, it’s stupid, I don’t want to say them.

—Come on… tell me… I’m intrigued now.

—That… nobody really loves me.

Timmy looked down embarrassed by the admission.

—What? That’s absurd. Many people love you? Lots of people actually.

—I don't know. Don't get me wrong, The fans are great, but sometimes when I'm at home, I kind of feel lonely. When I'm surrounded by them it's amazing, but then I'm on my own in some hotel room, and it's as if I woke up from a dream to a very lonely reality. I don't know man, it's like I get to live such opposite sides to the same reality, it can be overwhelming and it kind of gets to me sometimes.

 

And as Timmy shared his thoughts, it was as if  a melancholic shadow got all over him. There was silence, but it wasn’t hallow, it was full of contained emotions. Armie understood so much more about Tim right there, and he wanted to get closer, to approach somehow.

 

—I didn't know that.

—Yeah, I guess that comes with the job.

—If it makes you feel any better, if I happen to be around when you feel like that, I promise I'll do my best to comfort you.

—It does make me feel better. And how would comfort me?

—I don't know yet, I’ll figure it out, maybe I'll give you Ice cream, I'll take you to see the sunset, or I'll feed you super sweet pancakes.

—Wow! You do know how to make me feel better.

—Of course I do. Why do you sound so surprised? I'm about to be offended.

There was silence again. as they both stared at each other.

—That's crazy... Your family loves you.

—Yeah I know they do.

—Or... you mean that douchebag ex boyfriend of you?

—Well, yeah… Nick didn't love me.

—You are better off that way, believe me. You'll find someone who truly loves you, the way you deserve to be loved.

—What if I don't?

—Of course you will, you are smart, and… well… you know what I think about you, I have told you before. so many times actually, I don't want to sound like a broken record.

—You think I'm beautiful.

—No, not beautiful, you are... gorgeous.

Armie's eyes changed all of a suddenly.

—You know you are stunning— Armie said.

Timmy blushed.

—But it’s not just the way you look, you are great in so many ways.

—You said you were afraid, that night, at my apartment, two years ago.

—I was… I still am.

—Why?               

—You really want to go there right?

—Only if you want to, I don't want to push you to say something you don't want to, or you don't feel.

—Jesus Timmy… You are making things very complicated for me. I like you so much. I'm afraid because you could break my heart in a million pieces, and I would never recover from it.

—I wouldn't hurt you

—Well I know you don't want to hurt me, but things happen, people get hurt all the time.

—I’m also afraid, you know?

—You should never be afraid.

—You said we cannot prevent a broken heart.

—Well it's true. But I think you wouldn't have any problem finding someone who loves you the way you deserve.

—You say the sweetest things. I'm ashamed of what happened.

—i wanted to be with you that night. actually  I wanted it so much but it didn't feel right for so many reasons. You were drunk, very drunk actually, you could have regretted it they next morning. I'm sure you would have. Also I wasn't single at the time, someone was waiting for me at home, and I had a feeling that you deserved better than all that. And also… there was a picture...

—A picture?

—There was this picture on your wall, you were with your parents, I cannot explain but it was a beautiful picture, really, you were young, surrounded by nothing but unconditional love, it was there, right in your eyes. You were really happy. You looked beautiful in that picture.

 

Timmy smiled.

—I know what picture you are talking about, I like it, I'm sure I still have it somewhere.

—That picture is amazing. I never knew a picture could capture something like that.

—Maybe it wasn't the picture, maybe it was just you, the one with the ability to see such things.

—No… I don't have something like that in me.

—Maybe you do, maybe you just need to let yourself go a little.

And Armie wanted so much to let himself go  a little, right there, with Timmy in front of him, white skin, tender lips. He just needed a kiss.

 

—Since we are talking about things, could I ask you a question?— Timmy asked

—I’m scared of your questions, more if you need to ask for my permission.

Timmy smiled.

—Go ahead then, ask.  

—That day after the party, when you were driving us...

—I should have known you would want to talk about that night. I should have thought about a safe answer.

—A safe answer? What’s wrong with the real answer?

—Too revealing.

—Were you jealous?

—Oh, yeah… I was so freaking jealous… I mean... he was kissing you, and I know I was so stupid to feel that way. He was your boyfriend, of course he was going to kiss you.

—I’m sorry you felt like that.

—I was out of place back then, and I'm out of place right now. Please, don't think I don't know that. I'm sorry about all this, you must be tired and I'm bothering you.

—You are not bothering me.

—Timmy I want you to know I know my place. You don’t have to worry about me getting crazy ideas. I know I work for you, I'm sorry if I crossed a line or something, I did it just because I really wanted you to feel better.

—Armie… that's so sweet, but that thing you said about working for me, you are more than just my employee.

—If you see me as a friend, I think that'd mean a lot to me, seriously. But of course I wouldn't dare to dream about you seeing me as something else.

—Why not?

—Because you are amazing, and you deserve to be with someone as amazing as you.

—So, you think you are not amazing yourself?

—No... no... I'm just a regular guy, you are way out of my league, I know that, and it’s fine.  You must be with someone great, maybe someone famous as you and beautiful. I won't lie to you, I'm very attracted to you, I think you’ve noticed, I hadn’t been doing a good job at hiding it lately, at the hospital for example… I was a mess, and I want to apologize. I know I'm not good at hiding these things anymore, I've been trying for a while. At first I thought it was working perfectly, but lately it seems almost impossible. And I apologize for it. But don't worry, I won't make it hard on you. I just want you to know that I'm here for you, I'm here to help you. If there is something I can do for you I would do it gladly, and I do like you so much, because you are gorgeous and all and I'm only human but that doesn't mean that I think something could really happen between us, I know it won't. Don't worry about it.

—Armie… if something happened between us… I would be the luckiest guy.

—Timmy you need to rest now. You are exhausted, you are not making any sense.

Armie started to pick up the dishes and put them on a platter.

—You take such good care of me.Thank you.

—I'm doing my best.

—You don't have to.

—I already told you... I'm just crazy about you kid.

—And yet you don't want to kiss me.

Armie stopped what he was doing for a moment and smiled.

—Why do you make such an assumption?

—Armie… come here—Timmy said as he leaned towards Armie's lips.

—Are you trying to kill me now?

It was all Armie managed to say as he felt the closeness of Timmy. he was paralized asTimmy was slowly approaching.

—Never, I just need to… try something—their lips touched instinctively, softly, like a caresse. Armie remembered those lips, soft, bold... marvelous. But Armie was cautious. He couldn't give in, not completely, he knew that mouth so well, and as far as he knew it was addictive. The more he kissed him the harder it would be to let go of him. So, softly, delicately, he started pulling away.

—You didn't like it— Timmy said.

—I liked it a little too much.

Armie managed to say, knowing too well that he was losing his mind.

—What is there not to like. Your lips taste like heaven— Armie said.

—Then kiss me again.

—I would kiss you forever.

Armie kissed him again.

 

_What am I doing? This must be the stupidest thing I've ever done. But it feels so damn glorious._

So they kissed again, and then again some more. The kisses were sweet and soft. As if little by little they were learning a new form to communicate the nicest sensations to one another. But the little voice in Armie's head didn't stop. It kept repeating the same things over and over again, that he should be careful, that he should protect himself a bit, that he shouldn't just give in like that, the risk was too high, falling in love like that was reckless. He could get hurt, not just hurt, from something like that, he could be destroyed. So regaining all his self control he stopped.

—Seriously, you need to rest.

Armie said softly.

—Alright I'll do that.

—Call me if you need anything, I'll be in the next room.

He said as he held the platter with his hands. Armie walked out the room with the resounding feeling that he was in heaven, it was heaven, Those lips were sacred to him.

  
Timmy could still feel Armie's lips on his, and the feeling was incredible. There was so much going on between them.  But Armie knew his place too well. He wasn't… he couldn't think ahead. He loved that boy but he wasn't his. And he was sure that thinking differently would only bring him pain. So he took a deep breath, as he kept repeating to himself. _He's not mine, he's not mine, he's not mine._ It hurt a little, but it was better to be honest with himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave me a message :)


	11. Chapter 11

Timmy had a pleasant night, he didn't remember what he dreamt about, but he knew he had a nice and warm feeling.

—I see you are feeling better—Armie said as he walked in the room the next morning.

—I do. Did you have a good night yourself?

—I did, thanks. Liza will be here soon with your breakfast. She is so worried about you, you know. Also, your mother called.

—She did?

—Luca gave her my number, she didn't want to wake you up so she called me instead. She's so worried. She wants to come and see you.

—Oh, ok. I'll call her.

—She sounds nice.

—She is, she is very nice, you'll like her.

Lizza knocked on the door.

—Here you are! Oh boy!— Liza hugged him fondly as she walked into the room.

—I’m ok. It's not that bad Liza.

—Here, have some breakfast. —She said as she placed a tray full of food on the table.

—But this is a lot of food— Timmy complained. 

—You need to eat, you are so skinny. 

—Can you bring Armie some breakfast too? Would you join me?— Timmy said, shyly.

—I’d love to— he said. 

As they were eating together Armie noticed gladly that nothing had really changed between them, after the previous night he was afraid things could be awkward between them, but that wasn't the case. They were still two guys who could easily chat with each other for hours about practically everything.  But there was something subtle in the way they look at each other, how they talked to one another, the electricity was there, the tension.

 

Liza noticed right away something was going on, she smiled as she kissed both their cheeks, she knew. Her boy  needed someone who cared about him and Armie had so much affection for him, that much she could tell.

 

 —Luca said he already took care of your agenda so you don't have to worry. He'll come see you in the afternoon— Armie said.

—Thanks. 

—So what do you want to do after breakfast? I can buy you some books or movies. 

—I was thinking about Netflix. Would you watch something with me?

—Sure, but I was thinking maybe I could go home and take a shower. I won't take long.

—Of course, of course. Maybe you want to take the day off.

—No, nothing like that. I'll be back in a couple of hours. I'll just bring some things I might need.

—Would you stay tonight, again?

—Do you want me to?

—Of course, I mean  if it's not too much of a problem.

—It’s not. I'll be happy to stay for as long as you want me to. 

—Ok, thanks.

 

When Armie came back from his place, he noticed an unusual presence in the living room. It was a woman and a young man. The woman was in her early fifties, she was very beautiful. He could see the remarkable resemblance between Timmy and the woman.

—You must be Armie. I'm Nicole, Timmy's mom.

—Yes, nice to meet you. 

—Thank you so much for taking care of my boy. This is Fernando, he's a friend of Timmy's.

—Nice to meet you—Armie said as they shook hands. Fernando was very handsome. 

—Did you see him already?— Armie asked

—Yeah, but he was tired so we gave him some space. 

—Ok. Can I get you anything? 

—No we are fine. We'll just wait a bit until he feels better.

—Ok then.

Armie wanted so bad to check on Timmy. Why was he feeling tired? Was everything really ok? Was he in pain? So, he excused himself and walked straight to Timmy's bedroom. He knocked on his door.

—Timmy, are you ok?

—Please come in—Timmy said.

As he entered the room he noticed Timmy wasn't totally fine. He was distressed.

—What’s wrong? Are you in pain? Should I call the doctor?

—No, I'm fine, I'm just a little shocked that's all.

—Why? What happened?

—Did you see my mom?

—Yeah she's downstairs with your friend.

—He’s not exactly my friend

—What do you mean he is not?

Timmy was a bit hesitant 

—He’s an ex boyfriend actually. He was my  boyfriend when I was in highschool.

 

Armie remained quiet as he listened, unexpected feelings were emerging from his chest.  _ I don't get to be jealous,  I don't get to be jealous, this is stupid. _ But  he couldn't deny he was affected by that information. The guy he had just met had the privilege to be Timmy's boyfriend. Armie couldn’t help to be a bit jealous.

 

—I assume things end up badly?— Armie asked

—kind of, no terribly though, but yeah. He fell for someone else. He broke up with me. He didn't cheat on me or anything like that, he was honest, but it did hurt a lot. I was really young at the time and I was so in love with him, so, actually I was devastated back then. I thought I was never going to see him again, so  it was kind of shocking to find him in my living room today.

—I see.

—its stupid. I know.

—Its not, really. If you are not comfortable, you don't have to talk to him.

—I think I'm being childish, I guess I just have to face my demons at some point. I don't think it would be that bad.

—if you are not ready, I can tell them that you are tired, maybe you could see them tomorrow. 

—It’s fine. I'll be fine .Just stick around, would you?

—Sure, you don't even need to ask, I'll be there with you for as long as you need me.

_ That sweet smile again. It brings me life, it melts my heart You bring me life Timmy. I was afraid of falling for you and I hadn't noticed  I'm already so deep in love with you. _

Timmy smiled as if he could read Armie's thoughts.

 

Later that night Timmy was having dinner with his mom and Fernando.

—Where is Armie? Why isn't he here?— Timmy asked.

—I’ll look for him—Liza said, a bit annoyed. 

—Armie helps you a lot, you rely on him for so many things— his mother said.

—if I didn't know any better I would think you two are together— Fernando said inquisitively.

—With all due respect, you don't know a thing about me Fernando— Timmy said a bit bitterly.

—So you ARE together?— He asked.

—Not exactly— Timmy said.

—Were you looking for me?—Armie asked as he entered the room.

—I was. Aren't you having dinner with us?

—Oh I thought I’d give you some space. 

—Don't be silly, please join us— Timmy said.

— I'd love to have dinner with you. Thank you— Armie smiled at Timmy sweetly, a subtle detail that didn't escape Fernando's eye.

 

Dinner went really Nice. Armie was happy to meet Timmy's mom. 

—Timmy do you think I could have a word with you in private?—Fernando asked once dinner was over.

—Why? Why can't they hear what you have to say?

—No, I mean I don't have a problem with that, it's just that I thought…

—It's ok, we'll give you some space, Armie can show me around— Nicole said.

Armie wasn't thrilled to leave Timmy with him, but he knew it wasn't his place to say anything. So he walked out with her. But he couldn't hide his displeasure completely.

—Let me know if you need anything— Armie said on his way out. Once they were on the hall, Nicole smiled at him.

—He’ll be fine. Regardless what Timmy have told you, Fernando is not a terrible guy. 

—He didn't say that.

—Of course he did, darling.  Fernando did break his heart when they were younger.  But later he learnt from his mistakes and tried so hard to make amends. Of course it was late. Timmy was so hurt, that he didn't  talk to him for a long time. Maybe it's time they clear the air, don't you think?

—Sure— Armie lied.

 

—Timmy I know you weren't thrilled to see me today— Fernando said.

—No, it's not like that. I was  just surprised, I didn't know you were coming, that's all. 

—I was with your mom when she found out about your little accident. She told me what happened and I just really wanted to see you. I was worried.

—Well, there is no reason to be worried about, as you can see, I'm fine.

—You are, it's true. Do you want me to leave then? Is it that bad for you to see me?

—No, it's fine, I'm sorry, it's fine.

—I just wanted to apologized for what happened when we broke up. I think I could have managed things differently, I'm sorry I hurt you. I was so stupid back then.

Timmy was silent, he wasn’t expecting it.

— I was in love with you, and you weren't, it’s  not a big deal. It happens. It's fine— Timmy said.

—I'm sorry I wasn't mature enough to appreciate what we had. It was something unique, and I couldn't see it at the time— Fernando said honestly.

—We were young, It's ok now.

—I wish I could go back in time though. I think about you a lot.

—Things happen for a reason. We both learnt something from that experience.

—I guess you are right. I learnt not to be an idiot. 

—You were not… really. It happens,  you weren’t obligated to love me or anything.

—I was not, but to love you, it was the easiest thing in the world, how couldn’t I see it?

—Please don’t say that, it’s alright now. It’s all forgotten.

—Can I give you a hug then? 

—I don't know... it's kind of… awkward.

—You are right… sorry.

—No, it’s ok. Come here, give me that damn hug— Timmy said.

Just as they were breaking the hug Armie walked in the room, just in time to see them like that, together. They were very close to each other.  They were both smiling.  _ So they made peace.  _ Armie thought bitterly. Both noticed his presence and turned to see him. 

—Sorry! I didn't mean to… sorry— Armie said as he left the room immediately.

—Oh shit! Did I cause any trouble?— Fernando asked when he saw concern on Timmy's face.

—No… you did not.

But it was clear that Timmy wasn't entirely fine.

 

Nicole saw Armie as he walked out the dining room.

—Is everything ok?— She asked.

—Sure I just need to go out a bit. I'm sorry, could you look after him for a while. I'll be back soon.

—Sure— Nicole said but she could tell Armie was kind of upset.

Armie went out to take a walk, he needed to clear his head. He wasn't sure of what he was feeling. It wasn't simple, he was angry. He didn't want to be angry. Timmy hugged many people all the time. Was it because it was an ex? Was it because Timmy still had feelings for him, and maybe that was the real reason he didn't want to see him? A turmoil was going on Armie's head.

 

_ Wasn't I supposed to understand my place? Didn't I tell Timmy last night that he didn't have to worry about me?, that I understood nothing would happen between us? So apparently I lied. _

_ So I did have hold out some hope then… stupid… stupid.  _

_ It's none of my business what he does. He's not mine, he's not mine. Don't forget that. _

 

—Mom where is Armie?— Timmy asked when she walked in

—He said he needed to go out, but he said he was going to be back soon? Do you need help?

—No I just… 

—Is everything alright darling? Are you and Armie together?

—It’s fine. We are not exactly together but… l do care a lot about him.

Nicole hugged him.

—I know you do baby. I could see it since I first walked in— she kissed him.

—Thank you for coming mom. I'm really happy that you are here.

—I’m happy to be here sweetheart. And I'm happy to see you have people in your life that care for you. I could also see it in his eyes, you know? I think he likes you too.

—Did he say something?

—He didn't have to, it's kind of obvious if you ask me.

 

Timmy was starting to feel a bit uncomfortable on the chair when Armie came back.

—Sorry I left so suddenly. I hope you are not terribly uncomfortable. Do you want me to take you upstairs?

—Yes, please. I'm glad you are back, I was starting to get worried.

—No please, as I told you last night, you shouldn't worry about me.

—I’ll be outside I want to smoke a cigarette— Nicole said, giving them some space.

Armie helped Timmy, he was as helpful as usual, but he was quiet. Timmy noticed something different, Armie avoided looking at him in the eyes. He was using his poker face again. When Timmy was on his bed, Armie made sure he was comfortable. 

—Armie… I just need you to know something.

—No Timmy, I don't need to know. You don't have to tell me anything. I was so stupid last night telling you all that, I'm sorry.

—You are sorry about last night?

—I apologize, last night I was out of place. I’m so sorry. But I promise it won't happen again. 

—He just wanted a hug... Fernando. I just wanted you to know that.

—No, Timmy, please, you don't need to explain.

—Armie...

—No, no. I'm sorry. I was so stupid, please forgive my stupidity. 

—Stop saying that please. You are not stupid.

—Timmy I am. Yesterday I told you that I knew my place and today when I saw you with him... I was... upset. I'm sorry.

—But why were you upset? 

—Perhaps because I did have some hidden hope about you… about  us. I wasn't thinking clearly. I'm sorry.

Armie admitted full of embarrassment.

—I'm sorry you felt that way.  Armie. I like you so much, and last night when you kissed me, it was amazing. Please don't regret it.  

Armie wanted to kiss him again. he wanted to feel his lips on him again. But it would be wrong to do it, so wrong.

 

—You need to rest. You must feel tired. Do you need me to help you change your clothes? Do you rather have your mother help you?

—No, I'm fine, I can do it myself.

—Are you sure?

—Yes.

—Are you feeling any pain? Do you want the meds?

—No, I'm ok. Thank you Armie. 

—My pleasure.

Timmy seemed a bit sad. Armie hate the thought that he might had caused it.

—I could never regret it... last night... If... something, I will treasure it in my memory.

Timmy smiled widely at the admission. Just this little comment made a huge difference for him.

__ Armie was a complicated man. Timmy knew that much. As Armie walked out the room he knew It was late for him, he was already head over heels for him. The realization hit him hard. Nicole smiled when she saw him standing there. Armie blushed as soon as he noticed her presence.

—Don’t be embarrassed. I'm sorry I didn't mean to catch you by surprise 

—It's alright I was just helping him.

—You care for him, I can see that.

—i do, I do care for him... Maybe more than I should. But you don't have to worry— He rushed to say—I'm here only to make sure he's fine.

—I can tell you are doing a terrific job already. But I can see you are doing more than just that.

—What do you mean?

—I don't know maybe, your relationship is something more that just a working relationship.

—I would love to think of him as a friend.

—Perhaps he could be something more to you?

Armie blushed at the comment. He didn't know how to respond to it.

—I’m sorry I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable— She said.

—He's amazing— He rushed to say— But I wouldn't dare to think  of the possibility of him… and I...

—He likes you as much as you like him, actually I think you'd be so good for him. But forget I said that, this is none of my business.

She smiled at him as she went into Timmy’s  bedroom. Armie was bewildered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave me a comment! I love them!!


	12. Chapter 12

 

 

The following day Timmy was having breakfast with his mom.

—Liza do you know where Armie is?— Timmy asked.

—I’ll look for him— she answered.

She found him hiding in the kitchen.

 

—There you are— Liza said a bit annoyed— Timmy is looking for you again, by now you should know he wants you at the table with them. Next time just be there, please,  I hate to look for you.

—Oh, ok, sorry Liza.

—It's ok, just stop playing hard to get, and give the boy what he wants.

Armie almost choked with his coffee.

—Sorry? What?

—Was I born yesterday Armie? You both look at each other with puppy eyes, and you practically live here by now, you both want it.

—Liza! What the hell!

—Oh! Yeah! Right! I remember. We are all playing dumb in here. Sorry. My bad.

She left. Armie was puzzled.

 

***

Later that evening Timmy was drinking coffee with his mom.

—I’m leaving tomorrow darling. You dad needs me.

—Ok. I understand. I'm happy you came to see mel.

—I’m happy as well, and I feel happy that you have Armie around you, I'm kind of relieved actually. 

—Yeah, he's been a lot of help around here.

—Yeah I know. Just be patient with him, he's processing things.

—What do you mean?

—I mean… I think he has feelings for you, but he's just not ready to act on them… I hope I'm not making you uncomfortable.

—No, not at all. Am I that obvious?

—You both are, but you are also cute.

—Mom!

—Sorry honey,  you deserve a man who loves you with all his heart.  Don't be afraid of getting exactly what you deserve.

She hugged him tenderly.

—Thank you for coming, and for saying all that. I'm going to miss you.

 

***

 

—So, what do you want to do now that your mom is gone? Netflix? A book?

—Netflix is fine

—Let me get the computer then.

—Would you join me?

—Maybe you'd be more comfortable on your own.

—I won't, but if you don't want to stay, it's fine.

Armie smiled awkwardly.

—You are making things very difficult for me.

—Sorry I didn't mean to. Forget I said that.

—No, I'll stay with you. I love watching Netflix with you. What are we watching then?

—We need to catch up on Game of thrones?

Armie smiled.

—Sounds good— He said.

 

Armie sat on bed next to Timmy, his toes accidentally touched.Timmy's feet were incredible cold.

—Your feet are freezing.

—Don't worry, they are usually like that.

—What? You are used to it?

—Yeah, pretty much.

—That's unacceptable. Let me bring a blanket

—Don’t worry, it won't make a difference, I'm telling you.

Armie put a blanket on his feet but he noticed Timmy was right. They were still cold.

—It’s true, this is not working.

—I told you.

—This is not possible. I'm gonna make your feet warm, you'll see.

Armie removed Timmy's socks and started rubbing his feet, it seemed to be working but it wasn't enough, so after a while he put Timmy's feet on his lap, but they were still cold. So he put them under his tee-shirt. Timmy's  feet touched Armie's naked torso Armie skin was so warm, and Timmy felt so good.

—Thank you, I think this  is working.

—Of course it is.

They stayed like that for a while. When the episode was over Timmy was sleepy. Armie put the socks back on his feet, as he did it he wished  he could deliver a sweet kiss right on that foot. Timmy smiled.

—They might get cold again.

—No they won't.

—One of these days I might need you to stay with me all night… you know... to prevent my feet from getting cold again.

Armie smiled as their eyes connected. Timmy was flirtatious and bold. Armie bit his lip.

—I might have to do that. I cannot allow such cold feet— He smiled.

_ What are you doing? Don't say that!  _ The little voice inside Armie's head protested immediately.

Armie tucked Timmy into bed, making sure he was comfortable. Then almost instinctively he leaned a bit closer to Timmy and kissed his cheek. He didn't think about it, he froze as he realized what he had done. But Timmy was happy, and sleepy and comfortable, that Armie just couldn't resist him.

—Have a good night. You need to rest.

Armie left the room, Timmy was feeling lightheaded. 

 

The following day Fernando was in the living room.

—Hi— Armie said surprised.

—Hey Armie, I'm here to see Timmy.

—Oh, he didn't say  you were coming..

—Well he doesn't know I'm here, but could you please tell him.

—Sure, but he might not see you, he needs to get ready, the doctor will be here later.

—Ok. Fine, just tell him I'm here please— Fernando was annoyed.

—Of course.

 

Armie wasn't happy with Fernando visiting Timmy unannounced, but he knew he was being irrational.

—Your friend Fernando is here. Should I ask him to leave?

— Fernando? No It's fine, tell him to come up.

—Here in the bedroom?

—Yeah here is fine, thanks.

—Remember the doctor will be here in a couple of hours.

—Sure I know.

—Alright then.

 

Armie brought Fernando Into the bedroom, and he left them alone, he wasn't happy about it.

He went twice to check on him, both times they were chatting and laughing, they seemed to be having a good time. Armie felt jealous again. He hated the feeling. He fought it, he knew it was stupid, but he couldn't do much about it, he just tried to ignore it.

 

—What are you doing here? Why aren't you watching movies with my boy?— Liza asked as she walked in the kitchen.

—He’s got a visitor— Armie said unhappily.

—Oh now understand that face.

—What face? I don't have a face.

—Yeah, right. Armie if you are not going to anything about you two, then don't get in the way.

—What? 

—Make up your mind then. 

—Liza it's complicated, he is my boss.

—Oh yeah you are right, that makes it absolutely impossible for the two of you to have a relationship 

—Liza, it's not just that.

—Of course not, it's never simple. So the boy swept you off your feet. Of course it is scary.

—Why would he want to be with me?

—Because you are sweet, and caring, and gentle. Come on Armie! You are great!

—You just like me.

—I do, but guess what? He does too. Armie, go to him. Stop playing games. 

But he knew he wasn't exactly playing games,  he saw it more like a self preservation thing.

 

But he couldn't help to imagine those soft  lips on his, those bright eyes looking at him, and he got the deep sense of needing someone as he had never experienced before. He had to, he needed to find his way to him.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love comments! Thank you for reading 😉


	13. Chapter 13

 

Eventually Fernando left, and Timmy started looking for Armie, finally he found  him in the living room, browsing on his phone.

—There you are, I've been looking for you— he said.

—Sorry, I didn't know you were. I thought you were still busy with Fernando.

Armie said bitterly. Timmy couldn't help to laugh at Armie's tone.

—I’m guessing you don't like him.

—Yeah, you got me there. But that's not important. You like him and that's what matters.

However Armie couldn't hide his irritation.

—He apologized. I think he is honestly sorry for how he treated me back then.

—Well he better be. You seemed to be having a lot of fun with him.

—Oh, yeah we  were talking about people we used to know,  from high school.

Armie couldn't look more annoyed.

—Is everything alright Armie? You seem a bit…

—Yeah, I know. I'm sorry, It's nothing I'm fine. I just… to be honest I don't like the guy. He was a jackass to you, but, whatever.

—He is not a bad guy.

—Yeah… ok. So Is he going to keep coming?

—I don't know… maybe.

Armie rolled his eyes.

—What is it?— Timmy asked.

—Nothing. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. It's none of my business who your friends are. I apologize. Don't mind me.

Armie was mortified. It suddenly hit him how irracional he was being, and how out of place he was acting… again.

 _I should put myself together. What the fuck!  I cannot allow these stupid feelings, never again…_ Armie felt so vulnerable all of the sudden. Hopefully Liza knocked on the door and announced  the doctor's arrival.

 

—You are much better now— The doctor said after checking his foot. Armie’s and Timmy's eyes met, and they both smiled.

— Take it easy though, you shouldn't walk yet.

—Sure, of course.

— if you need anything let me know. I'll be back in a week and I think you'll be fine by then.

The doctor was talking to both of them. But he was giving  the instructions to Armie, it was kind of obvious that he was the one taking care of things.

—Make sure he takes it little by little. He shouldn't push it too hard.

—Sure doc, I'll watch him.

—That sounds great. So I'm gonna get going now. I'll see you soon.

The doctor walked out leaving them alone in the bedroom.

—I'm happy you are better, but I must confess I'm also a little sad, I'm getting used to take care of you. What am I going to do once you don't need me anymore. I'm sorry for being such a selfish prick, by the way.

—I think I will still need your help for some things, you know. I actually think you should stay at the guest room, even when I'm good to walk again, you know, just in case I need something.

—You know you’ll be perfectly fine without me. But I could stay for a couple of days if you want me to.

—..or weeks maybe— Timmy said.

—You won't even be around here that long. You have a shooting don't you?

—Yeah it's true. Maybe you could travel with me.

—Yeah? Would you need me there?

—Of course. I need to be safe everywhere I go Armie.

—I thought they had their own security staff on set.

—Oh they do, but they are not very good, you know. I'd rather have my own people.

A big grin crossed Armie's face.  He was feeling the butterflies again. _Careful_. He knew he would do it, he would go with him, wherever Tim needed him to.

—Your feet are cold again!

—I know.

—I’ll fix it.

Armie started rubbing Timmy's feet as he did the previous night. He enjoyed it so much, maybe because he could touch Timmy's skin. Suddenly and without any hesitation, Armie kissed his hurt foot tenderly. Only realizing a second later what he had just done, Armie was mortified, so filled with embarrassment.

 _Shit! What did I just do! Am I out of my mind_.

But the truth was he had enjoyed it so much.  They both blushed instantly, as if recognizing the awkwardness of the moment. But Timmy was so happy with that kiss. Armie covered Timmy's feet with a blanket then.

—I think your feet are fine now.

—Thanks, yes they are. They are more than fine.

Armie read complicity in those flirtatious eyes.

—You'll  be the death of me.

—Now come let's watch a movie— Timmy said nonchalantly.

—Alright—Armie was bringing the laptop on the bed when Timmy's phone rang.

—Oh hi! Hey Fernando. How are you?

Armie rolled his eyes as soon as he heard that name.

 

_This is ridiculous? Why do I hate the guy so much? Maybe Timmy is right. Maybe he is a good guy._

Whichever the case Armie left the room, giving Timmy some privacy.

 _Would they go back to dating?_ The question was burning

him inside, but there was not much he could do.

 

That night they were watching Netflix. Timmy was very tired, every minute they were getting more and more relaxed. Timmy was falling asleep as he unconsciously approached Armie more and more. His body enjoyed the warmth and the calmness of the body next to him. Timmy leaned his face towards Armie. Armie's chest was warm and comfortable, his breathing was peaceful, the light was dim, so it was the most logical thing that they fell asleep.

 

In their sleep  their bodies were looking for the most comfortable position, so eventually they were one on top of the other, as if  brought together by an invisible force of attraction. They fit together perfectly, they found the best position to rest, their breathings synchronised, their bodies clasped in a fond embrace, and  It was a very pleasant night for both of them, they slept through the night peacefully. Timmy slept like a baby which was unusual.

 

The following day Armie woke up from a very pleasant dream with a smile on his face, when he noticed Timmy's head resting on his chest, he experienced so many things at once.  He was mesmerized by Timmy's sleeping in his arms, their legs entangled, the feeling of Timmy's skin was unique. Nothing could have prevented from that emotion. Porcelain skin, peaceful gesture, he could swear he saw a smile on  Timmy's lips.The boy was so beautiful when he slept. Armie contemplated him in awe.

 

 _So beautiful, so damn beautiful._ And it was all he could think about for a couple of minutes. But then he also felt  worried. He shouldn't have spent the night in his bed, he wasn't invited to do so. He was sure Timmy wouldn't have wanted him to do that. He was an intruder. That couldn't be right.

 

Timmy started moving slowly. Armie didn't dare to move or make a sound. He didn't want Timmy to wake up, not just yet. _Just a little bit more, please, one more minute at least._  He wanted to linger that moment a little more, or maybe even forever. He could dream.

 

He loved so much to feel the proximity of that body, his intoxicating smell. But Timmy opened his eyes a little too soon. He was startled for a minute.

—Armie?

Armie froze, he was sick worried of Timmy's reaction.

But then Timmy smiled and just like that  he knew everything was alright. Timmy wasn't angry.

—You stayed with me?— His face lightened with the realization.

—I'm sorry, I shouldn't have, I fell asleep.

—That’s ok. Don't worry. It was nice, I kind of… enjoyed it.

Armie felt something within his chest. He was happy to hear that, so happy actually. And Timmy didn't move, he was still on Armie's chest, as if it was they most common thing between them.

—You did?

—I did, pretty much.

They both smiled.

—Timmy… I liked it too. It was cosy. You look beautiful when you sleep, and you are so peaceful. I hope I didn't make you uncomfortable.

—You know you didn't.

Timmy knew he  wanted to stay like that. He didn't want to move either.

—Are you hungry? I'll bring you your breakfast here if you want.

—what's the hurry? It's still early.

Armie smiled.

—Luca said he would come today to check on you. He'll be here at noon I guess. He wants to go over your agenda with you.

Armie talk as if nothing unusual was going on, he pretended he wasn't holding Timmy in his arms. He did his best not to show how affected he truly was by the proximity of Timmy's body.

Timmy was lazy, he wished the world could remain like that. He wished they didn't have to get up from bed, he wished he didn't have to start shooting in a couple of weeks. He wished he could just stay like that, with Armie.

 

—It'll be ok—Armie said  after some time, as if he could read Timmy's mind

—You’ll be ok— There was something in the way he said it that Timmy truly believed it. He smiled. He was going to be alright. if Armie said it like that it had to be true.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love your comments, thank you for reading ❤


	14. Chapter 14

 

—Hey, how was your meeting with Luca?—Armie asked.

—Not terrible actually, although I'm going to be very busy the next couple of weeks but I'll guess I’ll survive.

—Of course you will, you were made for this. Do you wanna eat something now? 

—Nah, I'm not hungry. 

—Do you want to go somewhere? I can take you.

—I think I just wanna be here for a while… with you, if possible.

Armie smiled and blushed a bit. He did want to stay there with Timmy. There was silence again, but it was pleasant. Timmy knew he was going to miss those peaceful moments once he went back to his usual schedule, he would miss the lazy mornings. but the thing he would miss the most would be just being with Armie like that, having him close, talking about unimportant things, watching Netflix, the sunset… Armie’s smile.

—What are you thinking about?— Armie asked. Timmy had a melancholic look in his eyes that Armie could easily recognize. Timmy smiled.

—I’ll miss this.

Armie knew what he meant, because he would miss it too.

 —Unfortunately, I can't keep you hidden forever. You need to go out, the world is waiting for you boy.

—I don't want things to change, between us.

—Then things won't change. You know I'm here for you. You don’t need to worry about that. 

Timmy smiled again. Armie looked at him. He was so crazy in love with him. No need to hide it anymore, his feelings were right there on the surface.  Timmy reached for him. He held his hand and pulled him closer. Armie couldn't resist that touch. He felt his skin burning. 

—Timmy…— he said in a whisper. Timmy put his finger on his lips as if no more words were needed between them. He caressed his cheek delicately. 

 

Armie wanted to say so many things at the time, he had the urge to express the overwhelming feelings he was experiencing. He had to say something, but the words were just not coming to him. It was as if suddenly he had forgotten how to speak, how to put words together. He suddenly realized, that was what photographers wanted to capture so much with their cameras, right there in front of him, that incredible look in Timmy’s eyes, sweetness, tenderness, how could anybody not fall in love with that? Only this time there was no one else to witness it, Timmy was sharing it only with him. That vision was for him only. 

 

Timmy brough their lips together. Armie almost fainted.  _ Beautiful… so beautiful _ . Armie kissed him back profusely. He didn't want the kiss to end. Never had he enjoyed a kiss like that before. Timmy kissed him intensively, Armie opened his mouth giving him complete access, it was as if with that kiss he was finally letting Timmy in, once and for all. That was him, the real one, who he truly was, a bunch of uncontrolled emotions, overflooding his senses. No more hiding, no more masks, Armie was being his true self right there, unabashed. And it was as if he had been lost for so long and finally he was coming to himself. That was real, nothing else had felt like that before, it was like waking up from a long dream, those wet lips were giving him already the most incredible feelings, and everything else was blur, and he didn't care. 

 

When the kiss was over Armie touched Timmy's face in such  a gentle way that Timmy just couldn't believe it. He was still wondering how could a kiss feel so right that it could transform everything around. How could everything else disappear and seem so unimportant all of a sudden? How could a kiss have such a transformative power? It escaped him how something  could be mesmerizing and yet scary.

 

That kiss was the carrier of a secret message among the two men, something invisible and subtle that touched their souls in the most sacred form. They belonged to that moment in time. Nothing could ever take that away from them. That kiss was for them to keep. They looked at each other in awe. 

—That was…

—I know…

_ Am I going to panic now?  _ Armie was wondering. Because it would have been the most logical thing to do, after such a shocking revelation. But incredibly he wasn't panicking. He was feeling good, so good actually. 

—Are you going to regret it?— Timmy asked, knowing Armie too well.

—Never. 

Armie used a severe tone. He was certain of something in his life.

—Then are you going to kiss me again?

And that was all he needed to go back to those magical lips, because he understood from that moment on he would need them to survive. Soon they were making out on the bed. Time passed incredibly fast for them, probably because they were enjoying every second of it, and sometimes life is a bitch. Suddenly it was dark outside. The kissing session got intense, but Armie made a pause, and breathed trying to come to his senses.

—You need to rest, it's getting late. I’d better go.

—Please don't leave. Stay with me tonight again, we don't have to do anything, just stay here.

—Timmy… you know I'd love to do that. But it might not be the best idea.

—What are you talking about? It is the best idea.

Armie laughed

—I 'll behave, I promise

—It's not you who I'm worried about. It’s me. I won’t behave.

—Then won’t. 

—Timmy… With that beautiful face of yours? Having your warm body so close to mine, knowing that I could touch you. It's gonna be so hard not to.

—Then touch me all you want. Please, please, stay, stay, stay 

—Timmy, you are so tempting.

He smiled, there was nothing else to do, Armie knew it already. He was head over hills for him, and he would do whatever the boy asked for.

—I’ll stay— He said. _ I’ll stay all my life. _ He would gladly add

Timmy felt so happy. So blissful. 

 

That night Armie put his arms gently around the boy, his skin was so warm, and as he did so, Timmy had an overwhelming feeling that he belonged right there in those arms. Armie did his best no to disturb Timmy during the night. But what he really wanted to do was kissing him and touching him endlessly. Nevertheless he enjoyed their time in bed very much, their bodies together, so near, every now and then Timmy moved his body a little bit closer to Armie's. He wanted so much to feel his body next to him, it gave him the most soothing feeling. Armie felt he was dreaming. Timmy was so thin  that he fit perfectly in the curve or Armie’s body.

 

The following morning Timmy woke up from the most peaceful dream. He could feel Armie's warm breathing on his neck. Armie moved a little bit closer, as his body was looking for something he couldn't quite find, he was still asleep.  _ Maybe he's dreaming _ . Timmy thought, but then Armie got even closer to him until there was no distance between them.  Then Timmy felt Armie's hard cock against his butt. Timmy was embarrassed, amused, and incredibly happy, all at once. Armie was rubbing his hard cock on his butt. perhaps having a wet dream. Then Armie woke up and noticed his own body betraying him like that. 

—O shit!—Armie said as, he immediately moved away from Timmy's body.

—its ok, you don't have to be ashamed.

—I’m sorry. 

But Timmy was more than happy to witness the situation. He was also so curious about it. He even turn around trying to get a glimpse of Armie’s hard cock.

—Timmy, please, you are making me blush.

—I’m sorry. I'm just kind of flattered, that you…

—Timmy, you know you are gorgeous. And I’m just human after all, my body just reacted to the proximity of your amazing body, and having you so close all night. 

Timmy was suddenly shy. Armie was so amazed by that sweet reaction. 

—You are so sweet, as if you didn't have thousands of fans and photoshoots almost every week. As if you didn't know how cute you are, as if you didn’t know what it is to be worshiped. 

Armie was surprised, Timmy was a very sweet boy, it seemed impossible that he, being the famous actor he was, could still be shy like that with Armie. There was something so pure about him, so untouched. No matter how famous he was, Timmy was cute and gentle, and tender, Armie knew he was the same boy as before, awkward and sweet, so full of that incredible glow, that lightened everything around him. Armie felt so lucky to get a glimpse of that. He was grateful to be alone with the boy because he could contemplate all those little details, and keep them all to himself.  He liked to believed that Timmy belonged to him in a way, when they were lazy like that, and little details were revealed, details that only Armie could see. that half smile that showed a bit of a fang, that tone of pale pink in his lips, his sleepy eyes. Those little things belonged to him, and no one could take them away from him.

 

Armie looked at him fondly, feeling a huge tenderness that wouldn’t leave his chest, as long as they were together, he liked to think Timmy did belong to him, in the privacy of his bedroom, with no witnesses, when he smiled like that after sleeping in his arms, he did belong to him, subtle, tender, and pure, they boy was truly his.

 

It was funny how he felt that rush of adrenaline every time he discovered something new in Timmy, something he hadn’t seen before. He felt the urge to kiss him, to feel his sweet lips on his again. Armie knew he was devoted to the boy. Things couldn't be any different. He couldn't fight it. Timmy got closer and closer, and then he kissed Armie's líps sweetly, feeling that amazing certainty, that put everything back into place.  It was good, life was finally good, things were going to be ok for them. 

 

—Do you really like me that much?— Timmy asked.

—Do you even need to ask?

 

And he didn’t.

 

***

 

—You didn’t sleep on your bed— Liza told Armie as she poured coffee in his cup, his face blushing. She smiled and kissed his cheek sweetly. 

 

—I… It’s not what you think… We didn’t…

—It’s ok, take your time… just be gentle with my boy.

Armie almost choked with his coffee. 

Liza was happy about it. When Timmy went into the kitchen he gave Liza a big hug, she kissed him, and then walked out, giving them space.

 

—Hey— Timmy said smiling.

—Hey— Armie answered back. They were both smiling.

—Did you sleep well?

—Actually, I slept unusually well. I think I might need to repeat that sleeping arrangement again, tonight… and every other night, if you ask me.

—Oh Timmy! I’d love to, but I’m not sure we should.

—Why not?

—I could get used to it. 

—It might not be a bad thing if you get used to it.

—Timmy, last night was amazing. Even now I wish I was still there with you... holding you. But Timmy If we do it again, I wouldn’t want to let you go.

—Then don’t

—Timmy

Timmy got closer to him, and kissed his lips unexpectedly.

_ His sweet lips again on mine, so sweet, so tender. How could I resist this warm and wet feeling, his mouth so ready to take mine, I’ll take it Timmy, I’ll take anything you want to give me.  _

 

Armie kissed him back, only this time he did it savagely. He cupped his face with his hands, and brought him closer. His body was screaming,  _ yes, yes, more of this, please _ . The kiss took Timmy by surprise, it was still Armie, but there was something different, there was hunger.

 

Timmy got lost in the kiss, as if he had forgotten about his own identify for a moment, there was  nothing more than Armie’s lips, and his tongue wandering inside his mouth, caressing, giving more and more every time, more of himself. He was just giving himself completely, so ready to confess all his secrets, finally revealing  everything that had been hidden.

 

Beautiful, beautiful. he kept repeating in his head. 

—Timmy you are so beautiful—Timmy smiled as he heard the words, but Armie felt like he hadn’t expressed himself correctly, like if what he meant couldn’t be described by those plain words.

—I don’t mean your face, I mean, of course you have such a beautiful face, and your body… but it’s not that, your beauty is somethings else that I can even begin to understand.

—Armie… yo say the most beautiful things.

—But It’s not what I wanted  to say… it’s all you Timmy.

Timmy kissed him again, so totally mesmerized by everything that was going on.

—Please, sleep with me tonight— Timmy said.

—Yes… yes… yes.

Armie answered as he kissed him again, because he knew he didn’t want to let go, he didn’t want to be apart from those lips never again, from that mouth that was giving so many incredible emotions. Armie knew things were already beyond his control. He had been so scared of the intensity of his own feelings, trying so hard to protect himself from precisely this, this flow of unrestrained emotions, this savagery, and all his efforts had been useless. Because here he was, completely gone for that boy. Nothing could have prevented him from what he was feeling.   _ So be it, _ he thought, if he was going to get his heart smashed, there was nothing he could do anymore, he was deep in love with Timmy,  _ so be it _ , he was not going to fight his feelings no more, he was going to embrace them, even if that meant that he wouldn’t survive them. Because Armie didn’t have it easy in life, he was used to having a hard life, he was too used to losing the things he loved the most, and he couldn't possibly think that life would just give him something as precious as this without eventually having to pay a price for it. He thought he couldn’t deserve, not in a million years to keep Timmy by his side. But he didn’t have the strength to fight his feelings anymore. There was nothing else to do but to take what was being offered, and love it all they way.

 

The day went by peacefully for them, they talked a lot, and watched netflix. It could be just a regular day, just that it wasn’t. There was this complicity between them, something so obvious in the way they talked to each other, the way they smiled, there was a perceptible bond growing utterly between them, and that was undeniable. They exchanged furtive gazes throughout the day, Luca noticed as soon as he walked in the room, even when a cautious Armie walked out the room just as he arrived. 

 

—You seem… happy, happier than before.

—I’m happy Luca

—Yeah, but, there is something new. So, did something happen with Armie?

Timmy blushed  but smiled, the answer to Luca's question was right there.

—Well yeah— Luca smiled.

—I’m happy for you, he seems like a good guy.

—He’s the best guy— Timmy said with a dreamy look in his eyes. 

  
  


—How did it go? with Luca? —Armie asked as soon as Luca left.

—Good, we have a busy day tomorrow.

—I can imagine. The world misses you.

Timmy got closer and kissed Armie sweetly. But then the kiss got intense. Because their lips were still discovering each other. and it was a delight. They made out for quite some time, Armie’s lips dare to go a little beyond wandering through Timmy’s neck. Every taste of his skin was superb. 

—Your skin is so perfect— Armie mumble quietly again Timmy’s skin, making him shiver. Armie’s lips and tongue were giving infinite little caresses around Timmy’s neck, and it was wonderful, Armie could only  wished for more.

  
  


It was dark as they were in Timmy’s bedroom, his computer on his bed playing netflix, but they were not really watching it, they were just kissing intensively, every second a little hungrier and more desperately, as if every second the need for each other grew wider and wider. Armie took off his t shirt, because it was getting in the way. Timmy looked at his bare chest and felt a heat emerging from his guts. He put his hand on Armie’s  skin tenderly, as if asking for permission. it was so warm, so receptive. Timmy melted with the touch and he started kissing his chest passionately. but of course, Timmy’s clothes made him feel restrained so he took his t shirt off too, because it was the most natural thing to do at the time, Their bodies were hungry for much more. Armie went on top of him and Timmy enjoyed so much feeling Armie’s weight on him. Timmy was ready to give himself completely to him. He knew he would let him do whatever he wanted to his body, because he needed it. Armie’s mouth was all over him. but Timmy wanted Armie to get impossibly closer. As Armie was on top, Timmy could feel his erection against his own crotch, and his own cock was getting harder and harder.

—Please take me— He begged. 

Armie stopped kissing him for a minute and looked straight into his eyes.  _ Did he just say that? Did that really happened? should I just take him, should I make love to him as I desperately want to?  _  He knew it was a turning point. Nothing would be the same for him, the revelation he was about to experience, could never leave him untouched. 

—Timmy…. are you sure of what you are saying?

—Yes… yes… I need you.

—But is this really what you want? I don’t want you to regret it.

—I would never… I could never.

And as he heard those words it was as if  Armie let the salvage part of himself to finally take over, his kisses became more desperate than never. It was going to happen, he would make love to him, he would worship him, he would fuck him, finally he was going to quench the thirst of his body and his soul. So he unbuttoned Timmy's jeans and took them off quickly,  he was delighted to find more of that beautiful skin glowing. Armie took off his pants urgently, he couldn’t wait anymore, his blood was boiling, his hands were trembling, his heart was beating. _ Be mine, please, be mine _ . It was all he was thinking. So finally he took Timmy's underwear off and he saw his hard cock leaking precum. The vision  was intense. He didn’t hesitate and put his mouth on it, he sucked it, he took it all in his mouth as Timmy was emitting the most lovely sounds.  Armie couldn't believe it, he was blowing Timmy, and it was as incredible as he had anticipated. Eagerly. he wanted so much to please Timmy, he wanted him to feel good, so good, he wanted him to enjoy it so much. 

—Armie— He was gasping as he experienced the most incredible pleasure, 

—Wait.. wait— Timmy begged. Armie stooped and look at his eyes. 

—Are you not liking this— He asked full of concern.

—I like it so much, but I don’t want to come, not yet… please… fuck me first.

—Oh Timmy! Timmy!

Armie went crazy. He couldn't believe his ears. Timmy was begging him to fuck him. The world was then the most amazing place.  _ This is a dream, this is a dream _ . He kept repeating to himself. Timmy opened a drawer and took a condom and some lube out. he was dying of anticipation.

—Timmy… if you let me do this… you need to know… I would be … so honoured. 

—Armie, that’s sweet, but just fuck me already.

Timmy looked at his eyes and he saw the most beautiful things emerging from them, there was tenderness and kindness like never before, but he could also see fear.  _ No… don’t be afraid, there is nothing to be afraid of. I’m here for you… I’m yours. _ Timmy expressed with a kiss so sweet, and gentle that Armie shivered.

—Armie, please… take me…. I’m already yours. 

And those words took the fear away. It felt so right for Armie to be there with Timmy, as if he belonged right there with him, on that bed, as if he was home. So he went into Timmy’s body, and as he did so, he experienced the most absolute completion. 

—Timmy… this is…you are... amazing

He was inside Timmy, it was beautiful in there, he let himself go, he lost himself inside Timmy’s body, everything disappeared around him, there was nothing more than that sweet body spreading for him. Armie felt so alive like never before.

—Timmy… Timmy. 

He kept repeating his name. Armie was so careful, he didn't dare to move, not yet.

—Am I hurting you angel?— Armie asked concerned.

—Just go slow… you are big— Timmy said.

Armie didn't want to hurt him. So he was gentle, Timmy was precious to him.

Armie started moving, first he was going really slow, but each trust was more intense that the last one, and  there was nothing more, only their bodies making sweet love, their souls giving infinite pleasure to each other in its purest form.

—Armie… I’m yours… I’m yours.

Timmy kept saying, and Armie went crazy when he heard him said those words. In every thrust Armie experience devotion. In that moment Timmy was everything to him.

Timmy felt so much pleasure, he was so full with him, and it was amazing. 

—Timmy… baby… 

—Yes.. yes….

Their bodies were communicating the sweetest messages through the most incredible bond. Armie's body expressed devotion, tenderness, kindness, love and lust, there was all there.

I _ belong to you, only to you. You are my everything.  _

Armie kissed Timmy eagerly and he stayed like that, their mouths together, breathing from each other, so connected, their skin touching everywhere, their souls entangled. And then Armie came, his eyes closed, his whole body perceptive, like never before, he was feeling everything, every inch of his skin was open to pleasure, the air in his lungs, every particle of his body was reacting to it.  _ Together _ , he thought,  _ together. _ Timmy came right after. He smiled. They were together as one, the sweates gaze in their eyes.

Armie held him all night. He couldn't let go of him, not anymore. Timmy was delighted.

 

_ Was it a dream?  _ Armie was wondering. Reality had never given him that much. That night they dreamt of they most beautiful things, never to be revealed. They had found each other. Finally. 


	15. Chapter 15

The following morning Timmy was the first one to wake up. He opened his eyes slowly, and suddenly the images from the night before came back to him activating all his senses. he shivered as he noticed the warm body next to him. It felt so right to wake up like that with Armie by his side.  He was still sleeping, his body was so relaxed, even in his sleep Armie transmitted tenderness.

Armie opened his eyes, and he smiled.

—Are you a vision?— He asked. 

Timmy smiled back at him.

—Armie, last night… it was... just…

—I know… it was… you are… amazing.

Armie kissed Timmy’s lips gently, and there it was again, that incredible bond growing stronger, that electrifying sensation waking every cell of their bodies. what was supposed to be  just a peck easily turned into something else. It reminded them of the night before, but not quite, it was different, calmer.

—I love kissing you— Armie said looking at Timmy with dreamy eyes.

—Then I guess today is your lucky day, cause you can kiss me for as long as you want.

—That’s impossible, you need to get up, eat, take a shower, go to work. I need to drive you places.

—True, but you can kiss me a bit. 

—But that’s not enough.

—We always have tonight.

—Oh, you promise?

—Of course.

Armie brought their lips together and happiness ran through his body. He couldn’t recall when was the last time he felt that good. 

—I want to take you to the beach— Armie said— and I want to kiss you on the sand, and I want to see the reflections of the sea and the sky in your eyes.

Timmy smiled.

—And I want to be with you when it snows and it’s cold, I want to snuggle with you, give you hot chocolate, and  a blanket.

—That would be lovely.

—And I also want to walk with you under the rain, and see your hair get all wet, and then I would take you to my place, and I would get  you dried, and give you some of my clothes to wear cause yours will be all wet. I would love to see you wearing my clothes.

—They won’t fit.

—No, they won’t, but you’ll look lovely.

—You really like me.

—You think?

Timmy kissed Armie, slowly, taking his time to explore his lips,

—And I want to take you to my place, and I want to make love to you on my bed. 

Timmy had a wide smile in his face, he knew he would remember that moment forever, Armie talking about all the things he wanted to do with Timmy, al the places he wanted to take him, all his insecurities were gone, and Armie was just being lovely. Timmy was enjoying it with all his heart.

 

Eventually Arme came down to earth. They had to get up. It was kind of late.

—We should hurry, or Luca is going to strangle me if I bring you late to the appointment.

—You are right, you should shower with me then, you know… to optimize time.

—Wow, that wouldn’t be the outcome of it at all.

—Come on, it’s not that late.

Armie knew it was late, but he also knew he couldn’t just say no to an offer like that. Again he wasn’t thinking, he just followed Timmy to the shower, and it was everything he had imagined it would be, it was wet, and sweet, and incredibly arousing. He fucked Timmy in the shower. It was late and he shouldn’t have done it, but he did it, and he enjoyed it so much, and they were going to be so late.

—You worry too much— Timmy said smiling.

  


When they finally managed to get their hands off each other, Armie got dressed and  went into the kitchen, Liza smiled at him and kissed his cheek. He didn’t understand why but he blushed. perhaps it was because Liza knew him too well and she could tell he had just had the most amazing sex. Probably it was written all over his face. 

 

Then Timmy went into the kitchen as well and Liza hugged him. She could see the sparkle in his eyes. She couldn’t be happier for him. They talked about everything and nothing during breakfast. conversation was always so natural among them.

—You want me in all weathers— Timmy said, remembering their conversation in bed.

—I do, you can’t blame be, you are lovely in all of them.

—Maybe you just want to use the weather as an excuse to fuck me.

—Yeah, maybe, but you can’t blame on that either. Are you going to be free in the evening?

—Yeah, Although I think I should start packing.

—Oh, yeah… right… your trip.

 

Armie didn’t mention it, but he wasn’t thrilled with the idea of Timmy leaving. 

The shadow of Timmy's upcoming trip. kept hunting him through the day. But he fought those thoughts. he knew better, he could wait for two or three months. Timmy had mentioned something about Armie going with him, but he wasn’t really serious, and he hadn’t said anything else about it, so, that surely meant he wasn’t serious about it at all, or at least that was what Armie was thinking.  

 

In the evening they were watching a movie, Armie's arms around Timmy.

—Are you sure you don’t want to pack yet.

—No, I’ll start tomorrow.  It’s ok. 

Timmy loved procrastinating, specially when he was with Armie. 

There was a knock on the door. It was Liza.

—Sorry to interrupt, I know it's not a good time. I really didn't want to disturb you, but there is someone looking for you Timmy.

—Who is it?— Timmy asked.

—Your friend Fernando. Should I ask him to leave? 

Armie felt his body tensed a little. _Fernando, what the fuck does he want?_

—No, I'll see him in the living room. Thanks.

Timmy got up from bed and kissed Armie's cheek. Armie froze.

—Aren’t you coming with me?

—Do you want me there?

—Of course— Timmy said nonchalantly.

They were walking into the living room, hands entangled, a detail that didn’t pass unnoticed to Fernando. 

—Hey Fernando. How's it going?

—Fine I hope you don't mind that I came unannounced.

—No, it's fine, we were just watching a movie.

—Oh, the two of you?

Fernando couldn’t hide his annoyance.

—Yeah.

Timmy smiled sweetly at Armie as he said so.

—Oh… I see that. Do you think we could talk somewhere more prívate? Or maybe we could go somewhere? Did you have dinner yet? 

Armie held a breathe. _Really? you want to take him to dinner?._

—No, but we are eating here, Liza is cooking. You can join us if you want.

—I’m gonna go to the kitchen, to see if dinner is actually ready.

Armie said hesitantly, his blood was boiling as he slowly started walking.

he was out of sight but he froze when he heard Fernando speak.

—Anyway I was just wondering. There is this party your mom is having on Friday. She invited me and I was wondering if maybe we could go together?

Armie’s mouth went dry.

_Shit. He’s asking Timmy out._

—I don't know if I'm going, but even if I go I think I'm going to go with my boyfriend.

—Your boyfriend? I didn't know you had a boyfriend. Do I know him?

—Of course, it's Armie.

Fernando clench fell to the ground.

—Armie is your boyfriend? Your bodyguard is your boyfriend?

—He’s more than just my bodyguard. He's my everything.

Armie's heart skipped a beat. 

 

When he was in the kitchen Liza  couldn't resist to ask.

—Why are you smiling like this? 

—I’m his boyfriend Liza, I'm his boyfriend, he just told his friend I'm his boyfriend.

—Oh Armie, of course you are. Come here, give me a hug. I know you'll make him so happy.

Armie was so blissful.

 

In the living room the conversation continued. 

—You are making a mistake with Armie. I'm sure he's a nice guy but, to have him as your boyfriend? You are certainly confused because he takes care of you, but that doesn't mean he really cares for you, you know, that’s just his job.

—You really don't know a thing about us. 

—Timmy he's just your bodyguard. You'll regret this. He might even be after your money.

—Don’t say that. You don’t know him, you don't know me either.

—I do know you, we were together once remember.

—That was ages ago.

—I could still make you happy.

—Fernando didn't you hear me? I have a boyfriend now and  I would really appreciate if you just keep your opinion about it to yourself. 

—Fine, but you are making a mistake, you’ll see that. 

 

—Is dinner ready?

Timmy asked as he walked into the kitchen.

—Yeah it’s almost ready. Where is your friend?— Armie asked.

—He left, I think he had better things to do.

—I bet he did. Come here boyfriend.

Armie pulled Timmy closer, and kissed him.

—So you heard that part, didn’t you?

—I did. 

—I thought you had left.

—I did, but you were talking so loudly, I couldn’t help to overhear.

—So you think I’m loud?

—Sometimes when you talk. 

—Only when I talk?

—Well also when we do other things, but I surely don’t mind that at all.

Timmy chuckled.

—Oh I think I’m going to set the table.

Liza said uncomfortably and then walked out. leaving the two men laughing.

 

—Forgot to tell you, Fernando reminded me, my mom is having a party. —Timmy said during dinner.

—She is? What’s the occasion?

—My mom doesn’t need an occasion, she just loves parties. Would you go with me?

—You want me to go with you? I’m guessing your family will be there.

—Just some of them, it would be a great opportunity for you to meet them.

Armie remained silent for a minute. _What would they think of me?_

—Sure… I’d love to.

He answered, making his best to put his insecurities aside.


End file.
